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Wednesday, 25 July 2012

It's a gusher!

Not my cupboard, but possibly it's twin! :)
I'm supposed to be cleaning out my tupperware cupboard... there's years of random plastic things in there - with and without lids!

But here I am; Newbie is asleep, and rather than sit on the kitchen floor, I've decided to make the most of the quiet time.
What can I say, Procrastination is my middle name!  :)

Today Newbie is 8-weeks old.
The other day, the Little Monster described him as a happy and smiling baby to his daycare ladies, and he was 100% right.

Sure Newbie cries, and I often wonder what on earth for - he's been fed, changed, burped, cuddled, swaddled, etc, etc, etc... But generally he is a happy, smiley baby.
And he is {mostly!} a chillaxed baby, which I put down to Husband and I being much more relaxed this time around. I don't panic the moment he cries, and I don't freak out when he won't go to sleep when he's "supposed" to.

Newbie has been less of an intrusion on Husband and I's "couple time"; and I don't mean that we are doing the horizontal mambo all the time!
Rather, we are able to see past each other as just a "mother" or a "father" - we can still see each other as an individual, as the person who the we fell in love with.
For me, when the Little Monster came along my world was so intensely rocked that I just didn't know how to be anything other than Mummy, let alone to be "me" again or a lover ... I certainly couldn't imagine how Husband would ever see me as a sex bomb again!

Then there was the factor of loving someone other than Husband... The shock of an unconditional love that was so intense, right from the get-go. I still get that heady, vertigo like feeling when I look at my Little Monster; and I feel exactly the same for Newbie

One of my biggest fears during this pregnancy was how on earth I would be able to love another child the way I love the Little Monster. Parents with more than one child would tell me "You just do, there is the space for it", but without explaining how there was that space... and it really didn't put my mind at ease.

Then Newbie arrived. It's like suddenly my heart is the size of the universe... unfathomable and never ending. And I realised that I SO have the capacity to love more than one child  :)

It still amazes me, this crazy little thing called love; and the capacity the heart has for such different types of love...
For example, I LOVE chocolate. But that is such a feeble version of the love I have for my (and Husbands) family. Which in turn is a vastly different kind of love for my Husband; whom I love and adore with every fiber of my being.

But the love I have for my little boys.... it's overwhelming, it's soul defining, it's pretty much indescribable and bigger than I could ever find the words for.

All I can say is, I am one lucky lady to have such amazing love in my life  :)

{images from here and here}

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