The birth of my Little Monster

It all started on the 4th of October...
I woke up early in the morning with a new and different pain in my belly... I knew straight away, that this was it - Baby was on the way. What I didn't know was that it was the start of 3 & 1/2 days of pre-labour - lucky me!

After 24 hours of contractions, I called my midwife to let her know that I thought I might be heading to hospital soon. Boyfriend and I camped out on the sofa bed with my hospital bag at the door, but the contractions slowed right down during the night, and I was able to catch a few hours sleep. The same thing happened again the next night... talk about frustrating!!

On the Wednesday morning I went to the hospital to see my midwife, who did a stretch & sweep (once again, lucky me) and announced that I was 3cm dilated... which was very pleasing, as I didn't want those three days of pain to have been for nothing! She then sent me home with some panadine forte and told me to try and get some rest.... FAT CHANCE!! Within 30-minutes, my labour started for real ("Ahhh so THAT's what a contraction feels like!!"), and I spent the next 7-hours wandering around our flat wondering what the heck I had got myself into!

At 6.30pm, with contractions coming every 3-minutes, I made the final call to the midwife telling her to expect us in the hospital within the next 30-minutes. As soon as I was showered and ready to go, Boyfriend pulled me into the nursery and asked me if I was ready for what was about to happen; to which I promptly burst into tears and said "no!"... He then asked me to marry him - to which said "yes!" :) (heck, I would have said yes to anything at that point!! hehehe)

And then we were off!

All throughout my pregnancy I had hoped to have a natural water birth, but I had maintained my feminine right to change my mind at any given time and use all the drugs available to me ;)

I started off well. I spent a about an hour in the bath and tried to relax and go with the flow. But the contractions were getting stronger and faster, and at about 10pm I asked for the pethadine - I had now been in some sort of pain for about 80hrs with not an awful lot of sleep, and I was exhausted. In our ante-natal classes, we were told that some women can almost sleep when they have pethadine... unfortunately for me, that was not the case. Every time I tried to lay down and close my eyes, another contraction would hit me and I would have to get up, pace the room and moan with pain.

The pethadine also made me feel a heady combination of overly hyper, very woozy and pretty sick - and it's not easy to be heaving over the toilet and get through a contraction at the same time! The pain relief was minimal, and about an hour later I decided to try the gas.

At this stage (according to Husband, I don't really remember), I was making some pretty scary/weird sounds - my midwife said I was starting to transition. I couldn't get the timing with breathing the gas right; probably because the contractions were coming in fast a furious, and the pain was pretty much unbearable, so I requested an epidural.

I had to wait for about another 10mins before they could get me into a delievery suite (it was a busy night apparently!), but by golly it felt like years!!! Finally I walked the 20m to the delivery suite - stopping for two contractions along the way!

I then found out that I was 8cm dilated, and my body was spasming with each contraction. I had to argue with the anesthesiologist as to why I should have an epidural; she maintained that I was too far gone and wouldn't be able to stay still for long enough for her to give it to me.

My wonderful amazing midwife stood up to the silly cow and told her that I was not too far gone, and I thought that I could stay still for long enough. So after explaining the risks to me, AGAIN (I'm in labour lady, not stupid!!) I finally got the drugs (staying still and contracting wasn't easy, but I wanted those drugs, and I wasn't moving for anyone!)... and it was almost instant relief  :)

But when they put the monitor on, the Baby had a "non-reassuring heart rate", so they called in an obstetrician who decided that rather than doing a blood test from the scalp, it needed to be delivered straight away... and at 1.58am (on his due date, the clever little man!), my Little Monster was brought into the world by ventouse delivery.

Not my Little Monster - but almost as cute!

It was love at first sight, and every day since then he has found new (and usually very entertaining!) ways to make my heart sing.

{images from here, here and  here}

A dawing realisation

I've been a bit slack with writing in my Gratitude Book...
I was having so much fun during our Christmas holiday that I kept forgetting to write in it.

Every night since we've come home, I look at the book sitting on my bedside table just waiting for my return.
And every night, I turn off my light without making an entry.

It's not like I don't have anything to be grateful for - if anything, there's too much to even begin to mention.

But this morning as I walked into work after dropping the Little Monster off at daycare, I suddenly realised exactly WHY I should start writing in it again...
I am 28 weeks pregnant, and I need to be writing down everything I feel about this pregnancy; the good and the bad.

At around 9-weeks, staving off yet another wave of nausea (and a week after I realised that being pregnant again meant I was going to have to GIVE BIRTH again - eek!!), I turned to Husband and stated, "This is it. Two is enough; no more children..."
To which Husband agreed.

About 3 weeks ago, I hit the I'm-so-totally-over-being-pregnant phase (only 11 weeks early!) and claimed to Husband, "Ugh. I'm sick of being fat. I want my body back!"

Again, to which Husband agreed.... not to the "I'm fat" part!, but that he wants me to be back to normal, back to being me. Which I'm guessing doesn't involve me being a host to a not so tiny parasite, or inhaling my food without taking a breath, or falling asleep on the sofa at 8pm....

But this morning, I had a far more profound realisation - this will most likely be my last pregnancy.

This realisation made me both sad and determined.

Sad, because this will probably be the last time that I carry and grow a baby.
The last time that I feel the first flutters through to the full on belly stretching of movement.
The last time I will ask my body to put itself through the paces that nature intended.

Determined, because I have not been as appreciative of this pregnancy as I was the first... I have been almost blase about whole thing, really.
And because despite all my whinging, I do love being pregnant.

I love feeling the baby move and guessing what baby body part is poking me where (usually a double whammy of a punch to the bladder and a kick to the lungs).
I love the freedom to go back for seconds without caring what other people think.
I love my maternity jeans!

I love watching my LM kiss my belly, and whisper "Morning Baby".

So, rather than complaining about how I can't walk 20m without huffing and puffing like a steam train; or how badly I am sleeping because the Baby keeps moving; or the agony of waking up with a leg cramp in the middle of the night...

Instead of all of those things, I am going to embrace the remaining 12 weeks of my pregnancy:

• I will cherish each internal kick and punch.
• I will celebrate the fact that my body is so freaking amazing at the job it does of growing our Baby.
• I will write in my Gratitude book every night, of just how lucky and grateful I am that I have a beautiful healthy son, and how excited (and terrified!) I am with the imminent arrival of our new child.

What sudden realisations have you had recently? Were they enough to change your way of thinking?

 {images 1, 2 and 3}

I've hit the wall...

At first I thought it was 3.30-itis, but then I realised, nah it's just pregnancy.

I am now in the "I can't get comfortable enough to sleep well" phase.
Y'know, the phase that lasts until the baby comes out (when you then move into the "My newborn won't let me sleep" phase. But that's a-whoooole-nother ballgame!)

Thankfully my Father-in-Law is picking up the Little Monster today, I don't think I could actually manage the 25-minute power-walk to daycare to get him... It's going to be hard enough to walk the 250m to the bus stop today!

Anyway, enough of my complaining!!
If my tiredness is the worst thing I have to worry about today, then I am doing alright.

And to look on the very bright side - tomorrow is Friday (YAY!), and I will be spending the weekend down the coast with the in-laws! Fingers crossed for a lovely sunny weekend  :)

{image from here}

How has your day been?

Arghh F**k!

So there I was, 5am, fast asleep; trying to make up for an already distrupted night's sleep... (thanks to Little Monster believing that our bed is actually his)

When BAM!

I awoke in agony, with my leg nearly perpendicular to the bed, toes splayed wildly, and a cramp in the middle of my calf.

Needless to say, I swore like a sailor for the few minutes it took to regain control of the muscle.

Unbelieveably (well, at least to me!), when I was telling Husband about the reasons behind my broken sleep, he had very little sympathy for the cramp incident.

Instead he told me that given that the Little Monster had been in bed with us at the time, my language had been less than desirable, and that I might want to tone things down the next time I woke with a cramp....

Seriously.

Am I going to have to watch my lanuage whilst giving birth?!

I mean I get that there was a child in the room (not by my choice) and he shouldn't be subjected to some of the bluer words spouting from his mother (which by the way, he completely slept through).

But when someone is unceremoniously woken up in unexpected and breathtaking pain, instinct takes over and common sense does not always prevail...

A girlfriend at work suggest that I wake him up in the middle of the night with a swift kick to the bollocks and see if he manages not to swear.

And as I hobble around the office with a bruised calf, I can't even begin to tell you how tempting that it sounds.

Does anyone else have a Husband/Wife/Partner/Significant Other like mine - sometimes the most caring and loving person, and sometimes the most cold and unfeeling bastard?