Gratitude Project- 1st November

October was Mental Health month in Australia. My workplace offered a number of workshops/events during the month; I signed up for the four-week Mindfullness Meditation.

I got a lot out of it; I love meditating, but just never have the time.... scratch that: I don't make the time for it. Which is pretty silly, given how much I enjoy it!

At the end of the last session, we were taking about gratitude and the documented benefits it has in ones life when practised daily. I should know, it's worked for me too.

So in an effort to reclaim some long term happiness benefits, I've decided to start the Gratitude Project again:

1. I'm grateful for the ability to move my body, and to enjoy a gym class... even (especially??!) if I know I'll be sore tomorrow. 

2. I'm grateful for technology, so I can see pictures of my Mum enjoying her holiday with my brother and his family.

3. I'm grateful for giggling kisses with Mac and Warrie at bedtime - I hope they never grow out of it! (or at least take their time, before deciding that it/I'm uncool!)

I hope you'll join me in my quest for making my own happyness (obvs you'll be making your own, not necessarily adding to mine! Altho' I won't lie: I'd be stoked if you did join in!). Let me know in the comments something that you've been grateful for today

xx

Gratitude Project - 17 April 2015 - including Friday Feels!

Things I am grateful for today:

1. Family, family, family! Both sets of grandparents have been freaking amazeballs about helping out with Mac (& sometimes Warrie) during our first ever school holidays. I have no words to express my thanks, but I think (hope!) they know

2. A glass (or three!) of wine tonight. I know the standing joke is "I'm a mother, I don't get weekends", but I still enjoy my Friday night wind downs... Sure it's not the clubbing and boozy nights of my 20's, but they work for me. And I can still wake up and cope with the kids - well, most Saturday's!

3. Tight finances. I know that sounds funny, but having some slight financial worries for the last few weeks has really made me better able to focus on what is vital to our family. I'm proud to say that I've managed to cut our weekly food shop by nearly $100!! 

Onto my Friday Feels

Seeing:
I have had a couple of opportunities this week to indulge in a guilty pleasure of watching some trashy TV... Don't judge, but I love "Once Upon a Time"!

Hearing:
When I was with my brother last month (was it really last month!?!) he reminded me of how much we used to listen to Paul Simon's Graceland album as kids. I've now got in on my trusty Spotify account, and have been listening to it pretty much on repeat for the whole week. I've subjected Mac and Warrie to it too, and I think they enjoy it

Here's one of my all time favourite music videos - I loved Chevy Chase as a little girl, and this video had one of my favourite songs with one of my favourite actors; pretty sure this was my idea of perfection way back when. I hope you enjoy!

{youtube clip}

Taste:
Last weekend, I came home from my parents place with a large bag of frozen meats, included some huge and delicious spicey sausages. I made my weekly favourite of toad in the hole, and devoured a very healthy portion. So much yum!

Smell:
I have a slight obsession with food, and my next door neighbour (the Pool Neighbour) has a wonderful habit of frying off onions and garlic first time in the morning - I think she might be a home catering company, I've just not had the guts to find out... Yet! 

Touch:
We are cat-sitting a gorgeous little Burmese-esque cat; the boys are utterly entranced by her, I just love having the extra estrogen in the house! It's been a long 6-weeks, but she is finally settled (apart from her intense dislike of our big cat!), and has started sleeping on the bed with me. And as the mornings are getting cooler, I am really enjoying the soft furry cuddles that she gives.

What's your guilty viewing pleasure? What about your favourite music video? I'd love to know, so I can look them up!

Gratitude Project 3 - 16 April 2015

It starts off with a long weekend away without writing.

Then it becomes a bit longer and hella embarrassing - I've put it out there that is want to start something to connect with people and yet I'm not taking part??

Finally it is 14 days later and has become something that I avoid, and the feeling of shame and embarrassment has grown to such huge proportions that I can't even face thinking about where to start....

But of course, the best thing to do is to just DO it, write something, ANYTHING.

So here are some of the things I have been grateful for during the last two weeks:

Having an abridged conversation about mental health with Mac; he heard me talking to my counsellor to cancel my appointment (I was home sick) and asked me who "Emily" was. I told him that she is someone that I talk to when all the thoughts in my head become too much for me, that talking to her helps me sort out my thoughts and feelings so I can be a happier mummy to him and Warrie. Not sure if he fully comprehended it all, but I've opened the door to him understand in that sometimes might need to talk to someone to help clear your head - and that it is ok if you do need help.

Whilst I was home sick Mr M and I were hanging out a load of washing when we heard a splash in the next door neighbours pool and their dogs barking like crazy. Thinking that one of the dogs had fallen in and couldn't get out, Mr M vaulted over the fence and ran to the pool. There was a dog in there, but it was trying to get hold of the rabbit, that belongs to our neighbours on the other side, who had made his way into their garden and fell in the pool trying to get away from the dogs. My heroic hubby saved the rabbit and introduced himself to the Pool Neighbour, who was understandably horrified to find a 6'3" man wandering in his garden! But once explanations were made they were soon chatting like old friends.

My Family. I spent two weekends with my folks in the Southern Highlands, the second weekend was for my stepdad's birthday and all the family came too. Spending time with my family really fills my heart with happiness and joy, and it was an absolute delight to share a mild sunny autumn day celebrating the birthday of the family patriarch.

My darling boys, Mac and Warrie. They are such snuggly and cuddly boys, and as the nights are becoming cooler the cuddles are becoming longer... I try to make the most of these cuddles as they are both growing up waaaay too fast, and I want to hold on to these precious moments for as long as I can.

Mr M. He's such an inspiration! About a month ago, Mr M took the bold and brave step of quitting his job to become a freelance photographer. As I watch him pouring in time and thought and effort into his new adventure I see his passion grow, and the joy he gets from being creative is delightful. He is even encouraging my budding photography interest and allows me to actually *gasp* use his amazeballs camera! One of the biggest compliments he has paid me was when he recently told his Dad that he thought I had a great eye for composition and what makes a good photo, needless to say I was thrilled.

I'm sorry for having been so slack the last couple of weeks, I promise to be better about keeping up with this project.

What's been happening with you? What has made you feel grateful these last two weeks?

Gratitude Project - 2 April 2015

It was a slow day today; I was more productive in the office, which I a good thing.

Even as an adult, the build up to a long weekend feels like it did at school - everyone is relaxed and there is a buzz in the air as people talk about what they are going to do with those extra days off...

YAY for public holidays!! 

The things I'm grateful for today:

1. The upcoming long weekend: four whole days of not being at work... Plus I'll be spending some quality time with my Mum this weekend, always something to be grateful for :)

2. My body. I tried a new exercise class today, and it has certainly challenged some of my muscles! I love testing my fitness limits and the good pain that comes after a hard workout (I know, I'm a nut job!)

3. End of Mac's first term at Big School. He has had a blast starting school, and seems to have slid into the whole experience with ease - for which I am truly grateful. Here's hoping that the return to school in two weeks is uneventful!

What made you feel grateful today?

What I'm doing now

I'm in KL for a long weekend to visit my Dad, who lives here, and my brother, who has flown in from the UK.

The view from the balcony looks like this:

It's 7.15am, the rest of the household is asleep. It's a muggy 26c with a ridiculously high humidity of 94% (!) and a very slight breeze that is just enough to ruffle the leave on the pot plants.

I am surrounded by the noise of tropical birds, the hum of the air conditioning units in the buildings around me and roaring traffic. And there's a certain smell to this place that I can't describe - although I'm sure I just got a whiff of maple syrup...

All of these things are so comforting and safe. They make me feel at home, and I put this down to having spent a chunk of my childhood growing up in Singapore.

Not only am I getting to see my brother for the first time in 14-months, but we are both on this jaunt spouse and child free!! Yep, I am having five whole nights away from my babies for the first time. It is equal parts wonderful and heart breaking... And I am relishing every moment.

I am so SO lucky to be here, and to be able to spend quality time with my men folk. There are no half held conversations as one or the other of us break up an argument over a toy, or deal with tears, or change a nappy, or answer the same question for the zillionth time.

It is bliss.

Because our time together is so short, we are taking things easy; there are no day trips planned, no excursions to nearby sights. We relax in the apartment (there may have been a couple of naps had yesterday), we wander down to the pool and chat about anything and everything as we laze in the chlorine. We plan our lunches over breakfast and our dinners over lunch - I love it when my day revolves around food! We sit in the easy silence of those who don't need to say a word about how happy we are to just simply BE with each other.

I miss my Boys desperately - I can't wait to see Mac and find out what happened at school; for Warrie to tell me all about how fast bullet trains can go and can he see a country train and did I know the noise that steam trains make; I can't wait to sleep next to Mr M - but I am so happy to be away from them.

And that is the joyful contradiction of being a parent.

But I needed this trip, this time away to be me without all the trappings of parenthood. I've had a pretty stressful six months or so, and I just needed to be free of all of it for a few days. I needed to be able to relax and be on my own timetable.

I don't know when I will have such a long break from the kids again, probably not for a good few years. So I don't feel guilty about this selfish indulgence (well I do, but I know that I shouldn't, so I try not to. It's a work in progress).

I am enjoying the moments that I have with the two men who have helped shape me. I am enjoying the late nights and the sleep ins. I am enjoying the time I have to reconnect with myself in the safety of two of the people I trust the most.

I know that when I get home I will fall back into the normal stresses of my life as a working mother, but hopefully I will do it bit better now I have had a chance to recharge my batteries.

What was your last selfish adventure? I'd love to hear about it, let me know in the comments below!

Friday feels - 23 May

Today, my work bestie told me a very interesting story that a mutual colleague had shared over lunch - and it all stemmed from her asking "What's the worst thing you've ever done?"

And it made me think about the worst thing I've ever done.

Now, I'm your basic goodie two shoes... sure I've done some things I'm not proud of, I've experimented, and I had my go at rebelling against "The Man" (whoever that is supposed to be). But essentially, I was a good kid/young adult. My mum was so lucky (and she will attest to that!!)

So I had to think pretty hard to find the worst thing I've done. And please bear in mind that my definition of "worst" is likely to be different from yours, and different again from the little old lady across the road...

So here's my worst thing:
When I was 13, I was staying over at a friends house. We snuck out of the house late one night to go to a local watering hole. There we stayed until 2am drinking beer with a bunch of American sailors fresh off the boats. Then we went back to my friends house, where we both smugly thought we had gotten away with our daring adventure... until my Mum confronted me the next afternoon when I got home. Apparently a friend of my family had seen me out without my parents, and mentioned it to her. Needless to say, I was grounded for a very long time.

I laughed when I was telling the story. How outrageous was I as a 13-year old!? OMG, hahaha, what was I even thinking??

I then I thought about it again; with the mind of a 36-year old, with the mind of a mother.

I was THIRTEEN. Out drinking beer with a bunch of SAILORS, all of whom were much older than us. And all FRESH OFF THE BOAT.

What the hell was I doing!? It's very apparent that I wasn't thinking. Jeez, I'm probably lucky to even be alive.

We were living overseas at the time, so I'm certainly lucky that we weren't caught by the police - it could have meant my family being deported.

And looking back on my life, that's what makes it the worst thing I've ever done; I put my family's lifestyle, my dad's job, mine and my brothers schooling in jeopardy.

I would like to say that I knew it was wrong, that I was lead astray by a girl with a much stronger personality than mine, and I was desperate to be her BFF (she was well in with the cool crowd, I floated (comfortably for the most part) between the cool and uncool crowds)... And that's all probably true, but gosh it makes me feel sad for my 13-year old self, that I couldn't stand up to her and say "WTF!? Go out drinking? I'd much rather stay home and play with my barbies!". Who knows, she probably would have been just as happy to do that too!

Moving on. Here are my Friday Feels:

Hearing: Mr M introduced me to Chet Faker last weekend. How have I not heard of him before!? This cover of No Diggity (a song that was one of the many soundtracks to my life in the 90's), is freaking awesome.



Seeing: It was a week of TV lasts and firsts in our household... I watched the last episodes of the current seasons of The Walking Dead, and the Vikings - not sure how I'm going to manage until the next season of both! I also finally managed to watch the first episode of the new season of Offspring. It's good to have Nina back on my screen, even though I cried almost the whole way through. Just as well I stocked up on tissues!! :)

Tasting: I tried a DELICIOUS slow cooker recipe on Tuesday, it was chicken wrapped in bacon cooked with grated apple and bbq sauce. We ate it with couscous and veggies. I will find that recipe and share it with you all, because it was divine!

Smelling: I took Mac to an open day at our local primary school on Tuesday. We were sat in a kindergarten room to talk to the Principal, and the smell and sights just flooded my brain with memories I had forgotten I even had!! As much as I am dreading him start school, I'm sort of looking forward to it too... I'm excited for him. I loved school and I have a feeling Mac will too.

Touching: A couple of weekends ago, I bought some new woolen jumpers - the first winter wardrobe items I have bought in about 5 years! There is one jumper in particular, a grey one, that is so soft and warm and cozy... But we've been having the most amazing weather this last week that I haven't had a chance to wear it yet!! Not that I'm complaining - I'm LOVING this autumnal weather!

So there you have it, my Friday Feels.

Let me know what you've been feeling this week, or tell me (if it won't get you into any trouble!) what's the worst thing you've done?

Gratitude Project - 24th - 29th April

Long weekends - nothing can beat one. Except two long weekends in a row!
With the Easter weekend and then ANZAC Day following close behind, I have had a fab couple of short working weeks. And returning to work for a full five days is going to be a challenge.

Oh how quickly I adapt to being away from the office....

The best part about the double whammy long weekend, is that Mr M has been off work. It's been such a help having him at home; mornings have been easier, as have the evenings!, and we created a new bedtime routine - me reading two books to the boys, with Warrie snuggling on my lap whilst Mr M cuddles up to Mac in his bed.

The one thing that really stuck out for me this second long weekend, is how much the ANZAC day has come to mean something to me. Maybe its because I have two boys, and I can identify with the mothers that lost their sons in Gallipoli? Whatever the reason, I spent much of the Friday morning explaining (or trying to!) the importance of ANZAC day to Mac... without using the words "died" or "war", which I thought might be a little confronting for a 4.5 year old! I'm not sure how much he understood, or indeed if he was even listening to me!, but I felt like I solidified a little more in my own heart and mind as to why it is an important day for me.

When I first moved back to Australia, nearly 13 years ago, I had no real concept of ANZAC Day. I knew what it represented, and I understood the gravitas that surrounded it. But I just thought of it as a day off work and that whatever I got up to, I would be "doing it for the Diggers" - usually with a drink in my hand.

But as the years went by, and especially once I had Mac and Warrie, the value of the day shifted for me. All those men who perished in the Great War, in order that the world would be a better place, that we would have our freedom. The selflessness of those who were (are!) willing to go to war, those who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country, just blows my mind.

But I think the importance of the day really became apparent to me three years ago, when we were in Canberra kick-starting our honeymoon. We dragged Mac around the Australian War Memorial, (not sure what we were thinking, he was 18-months old!) and stayed for the Last Post ceremony. We had been reading the Roll of Honour, and I had just found my maiden name and was wondering if the names listed had been distant relatives of mine. Then the bugle started.

{image credit}

I am not ashamed to admit that I sobbed.

Standing next to the names of possible relatives, my first born son in my arms, my new husband standing protectively behind us, on a cold, crisp and beautiful Canberra afternoon. The sun was setting, the crowd of visitors in the Memorial was silent, and the haunting sound of the bugle was echoing through the air... How can you not be touched by that?

I cried for the men whose names were on the Roll of Honour.
I cried for the men and women currently serving.
I cried with thanks that I live in such an amazing country, where everyday I take for granted my freedom to live my life the way I see fit.
I cried with fear for the world that my child would inherit, and hoped that the horrors of war will never be something that he has to experience - a hope that I am sure every single parent in the world shares for their children.

Things I have been grateful for this long weekend:

1. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm forever grateful to the men and women who put their lives on the line for their country.

2. Bedtime snuggles with my boys

3. Family time - we had a lot of it, and we all thrived!


This wasn't what I thought this post was going to be about, my intent had been "light and breezy". But I guess it was something that my soul felt needed to be told.

Do you have a particular public holiday that holds importance or special meaning for you? I'd love to hear about it!

Gratitude Project - 11th - 15th April

Woah! Got a bit of catching up to do!

On Saturday, we moved the boys into Mac's old bedroom and chucked out a pile of crappy plastic broken toys, which for some unknown reason I had been holding on to. Oh man that felt good! There's still more to get rid of (to donate), but that's a job best done without children around!

On Sunday we went to my beautiful best friends housewarming party. She is amazing; not only are they in the process of renovating, but she managed to cook snacks and make delicious finger foods for 50 odd people!! I wish I had taken photos, but I was too busy stuffing my face :)

That afternoon, I went to my step-sister's place to celebrate my step-dad's birthday. She had made a Donna Hay banana cake with caramel sauce. OMFG.  I don't think I can ever exercise that cake off, but it was so SO totally worth it!

Yesterday I had to have the day off work, waiting for a tradie to come around. As he was due in the afternoon ("Sometime between 1 and 5pm"), I decided to spoil myself in the morning. I got my nails done, my eyebrows threaded and tinted and I had a hair cut! I left the shopping mall feeling like a million bucks :)

And after the tradie had been and gone, I had the ultimate experience: food shopping. With. NO. Children!! Only a parent can understand the way that feels :)

Today was back to normal, but it was all good - it's only a three day week, and same next week too!! Yay for public holidays!

There have been so many things to be grateful for over the last few days. But I'll share just this one:

There was a moment on Saturday, whilst Mr M and I were moving the cot (Warrie was trying to help, and was wedged between the wall and the side if the cot - it was freaking hilarious!), and I suddenly realised that I was happy.

Deeply DEEPLY happy.

The kind of happy that moves you to tears.

I stopped what I was doing (watching Mr M extracate Warrie from his predicament), and just immersed myself in the moment.

I let all that happiness wash over me, I let the tears prick my eyes, I let my heart be flooded with joy. And I relished in it.

So, I am grateful for that moment of happiness.

And I am grateful that I was aware of what was happening, and was able to grasp that moment with both hands and to really truly experience being happy. 

What was the highlight of your weekend?

Gratitude Project - 3rd April

Just so you know, the assumption for my gratitude list is that I am always grateful for my two healthy, adorable, rambunctious, funny, irritating, happy, loving boys. Every day. No matter how much they tick me off, or make me long for the days when I could afford nice clothes/shoes...

Yes I can imagine life without them; but I don't want to ever be without them.

They might make me want to punch walls with their constant "Mummy. Mummy. Mummy. Mummy." But then something like this happens:

Today was Mac's swimming lesson, so I dropped Warrie off at day care before hand. As we were walking in, he stops, looks over his shoulder and says, "Where Mac? Mac gone?"

"Yes darling, Mac has a swimming lesson. He'll be back in a little while."

Cue a devastated face, tears and clutching my leg from my normally very independent little boy.

After swimming, as I pulled back up outside the centre, I turn to get Mac out of the car. He has a very sad expression. "Sweetheart, what's wrong!?"

"Mummy, I miss Warrie. Can I give him a cuddle when I go in?"

My heart melts with the love these to boys have for each other. And I know that I am blessed to have them.

And so it is a given that at the very way far top of my gratitude list is my two boys.

{Seriously, these kids break my heart with their gorgeousness. Every. Single. Day}

So, apart from my babies, the things I am grateful for today are:

1. Running with my bestie today. Well run-walking really, and mostly lots of chatting :)  We've decided to make it a weekly thing, and I'm already looking forward to next week!

2. My slow cooker; so little effort for so much delicious reward!!

3. A decent TV series. A few of my favourite shows are: Rake, The Moodys, Offspring, Walking Dead, The Spoils of Babylon. 

I am currently obsessed with the show Vikings... Ragnar Lothbrok (Travis Fimmel) really floats my boat. 

We don't watch a lot of TV (mostly because there's never anything good on!) but thanks to Mr M, we're up to date with this fab series, and I am loving it!

What's your current favourite tv show? Do you have any recommendations?

Gratitude Project - 2nd April

It was a gorgeous warm sunny day today, the kind that makes it hard to believe that winter is on its way. The kind where all you want to do is find a little quiet patch of grass and lay on a blanket all day long with an awesome book and delicious picnic. Snoozes optional ;)

But despite the glorious weather, I somehow forced myself to be more productive today; still can't quite work out the secret. Why is it some days so bad and others it's so easy to power through??

Things I am grateful for today:

1. Mac sleeping in until 6.45am! That's  a whole hour longer than usual!

2. Today was hump day, so yay for the approaching week end!!

3. Picking Mac and Warrie up early from daycare and taking them to the playground. I had to time them racing around all of the equipment and going down the slide (high fives on the way downwere not optional!)

{Warrie}

What was the weather like where you are today? 

What's in a name?

Well, as I've decided to make a concerted effort to be better about posting on this blog, I think I'm going to have to rename a few things....

Firstly, my Little Monster and Even Littler Monster will be changing.
I was SO convinced that I was going to have a girl the second time around, that I thought Little Monster and Little Princess would make referring to the kids so easy. Yup, cue two boys and the original monikers are not so easy.
From now on (until I decide to change them again!), they will be referred to as Mac (my oldest) and Warrie (my youngest)

Husband has become Mr M - its just so much easier, down from 7 letters to 3 letters plus a space! Result!

I shall remain Melissa or Mrs M - unless I can come up with something better!

Looking forward to starting my Gratitude Project tonight!