Gratitude Project - 10th November

I don't know what's going on. The first few days of doing this project, I was so happy and able to see the joy in everything.

But for the last five or six days I've been moody and grumpy, and really REALLY struggling to find things that I am grateful for.

It's not my hormones, I've a while yet before the PMS hit and I rage for two days!, and I know that I've been blaming it on end of year fatigue, but I'm not convinced of that either.

I've spoken to a number of other people in various aspects of my life who are all feeling the same as me... and I can't help but wonder if it's a general malaise we are all suffering from about the state of the world??

Things I am grateful for today:

1. A lunch away from my office and the gym, with me on my own. Heaven!

2. Sitting in the sun chatting on the phone with a friend who has just come back from an overseas adventure - and arranging lunch next week!

3. Mr M going out to get some cheap bubbly, and coming home with a bottle AND some dinner!

How are you feeling at the moment? Are you able to find gratitude every day, or is it a struggle for you too?

Gratitude Project - 9th November

Wow... what a day!

We all knew that history was going to be made in some way today - but I was gunning for it being because USA had voted in the first female president. I honestly never thought I'd go to bed with Trump as the president-elect....

What did all those people who voted for him see that I didn't?

I saw a man who preaches intolerance and hatred, who is disrespectful of anyone that isn't a white Christian man, and who offered no information on what his actual policies are. Or was this just what the media in Australia portrayed?

What did he do that made all those millions of people see past his odious words and behaviour and think: "yup, this bigoted lying mysogynst is exactly who I want to run my country"?? 

I know that his success is most likely to do with the fact that the American people are rejecting the traditional political "establishment", and that Trump is the perfect figurehead for that movement - there is similar feeling in Australia, and I totally understand it; I am so over wealthy fat old men deciding what is best for me, my family, and my fellow countrymen... oh hang on, that's exactly what Trump is!
(I know, I know. I am happy to complain about the system, but what am I doing to change it. I have no solution, I guess I'm waiting for the Millenials to jump in :) )

What concerns me most is what has been unleashed; the people who now think they can say whatever they want without ramification; the potential for xenophobia, and religious persecution in a country that was built by migrants.

Hopefully he was just being an outrageous showman to get the votes, hopefully he will be a good president... but I have a feeling that what you see is what you get...

Oh well, I guess we just wait until January 2018 and see what happens.

Right, enough of my views on a country and political system that has nothing to do with me, and that I'm only aware of from the media I have access to; I openly admit that I haven't done an ounce of research, all my views are formed on news articles I've read and tv shows I've watched. 

Things I am grateful for today:

1. Living in Australia. I've always known that I am blessed to live in such a gorgeous country, but today I feel it even more. 

2. The internet. I was able to watch the progress of the election and obsess over it all day... hmmmm, I'm not so sure that is a thing to be grateful for?? 

3. Trashy tv. Once the outcome was realised, I needed a distraction and found it in trashy reality tv show - Ramsey's Hotel Hell and Millionaire Matchmaker were my go-to shows last night!

What did you do for distraction after the election results? Do you have any trashy tv recommendations?

Gratitude Project - 8th November

Today was a day for feeling unheard and under appreciated; either that or I have a serious case of the "End of Year Grumps"... it's 50/50.

Things I am grateful for today:

1. The return of my workplace bestie! She's was on holiday last week, and I hadn't realised how much I missed her. Work is far more manageable now she's back - I've got someone to vent to, and to have morning/afternoon tea with!

2. The gym at work. I whinge and moan about going to the gym - but by crikey I'm happy it's only a short walk to get there for a lunchtime class. Occasionally I go out for a run, but I'm not always great about forcing myself to go. Having the gym "just there" and a workout buddy who won't let me get out of it means that I'm more likely to exercise than not - and I can feel less guilty about the afternoon tea snacks!

3. A cooler night for sleeping. Snuggling down and being cosy is my favourite way to sleep - the warm nights are ramping up and I struggle to get comfy when I'm too hot... the broken sleep is probably a big factor in my recent grumpiness. There's been some rain today and the evening has been cooler, and I am excited about the potential for a great nights sleep :)

How are you today? I hope you've been getting enough sleep and keeping the grumps at bay! How do you keep cool during hot summer nights? I'd love some tips :)

Gratitude Project - 7th November

I've been finding Monday's such a draaaag these last few weeks - probably because of the time of year, and the general exhaustion I think nearly everyone feels around now.

But every three months, I have to attend a two-hour meeting that seems to make the day infinitely longer. And then I have to experience it again when I write up the minutes; like it's not bad enough that I had to live through it the first time....

Today's meeting was in a room over looking a communal area, with a gorgeous jacaranda in the corner. Have I ever told you how much I love jacarandas?

I'm also excited that Mr M is home today. I love the solo time when he goes (trashy tv is my favourite!), but I love snuggling with him more, and I can't sleep without him... oh, that is almost vomit-inducing HAHAHA

Things I am grateful for today:

1. A summer breeze. There's a smell about summer, and an excitement that comes with it. Even though I'm a lifetime out of school, the smell of summer makes me think of looong school holiday and the joy of youth/young adulthood....

2. Chocolate. About an hour before my meeting this afternoon, I realised that I was going to need an energy boost. Now I could have been sensible and had a banana or some other healthy option.... but I ended up with a twix and a cuppa. It was perfect.

3. Leftovers! Even though Mr M was away last night, I (reluctantly!) made dinner as if he were home. And tonight, I reaped the benefits! A delicious dinner with next to no effort - my favoutire kind of meal!

What's your naughty go to snack - please don't let me be the only person who hits the chocolate!

Gratitude Project - 6th November

It's been another glorious day today.

Mr M headed out of town for work that will see him away overnight - there is always an element of excitement when he goes; I get to veg in front of whatever I want on the telly and I don't have to cook if I don't want to! :)

My gratitudes for today:

1. Watching the boys play with their cousins and some new kids today, at a birthday party. Apart from my brother- and sister-in-law, I knew no one else at the party and I decided to enjoy watching the kids. It was wonderful to see them interacting with the other children and to see Mac being an awesome big brother, watching out for Warrie. I don't think the smile left my face the whole time we were there.

2. Hay fever tablets. I don't usually have hay fever, but this year (this weekend in particular!) it has been almost unbearable. I finally admitted defeat and had a tablet... oh my goodness, the relief has been blissful!!

3. An evening on my own. After a pretty busy weekend, I got the boys to bed a bit earlier than usual tonight and made the most of a husband free night - a delicious dinner (which did include some cooking), a glass of wine and some trashy tv!

I hope you all have had a great day - feel free to share a highlight, I'd love to know what makes your weekends special!

Gratitude Project - 4th November

Today has been a super grumpy one for me - a bad night's sleep is to blame. I've tried to keep my temper in check, and would have been super successful... if my computer hadn't decided to be a knob!!

I'm still feeling pretty cranky and not really up for any small talk. So if you  don't mind, I think I'll power on through to the things I'm grateful for...

Today's gratitudes:

1. My work wife/gym buddy for making me go to the gym at lunch, and putting up with my grumpiness, especially when I didn't want to put up with me!! Ah, the power of endorphins!

2. Playing in the garden with Mac and Warrie, including some trampoline fun - not 100% sure my pelvic floor would agree with that one though!

3. Cheap bubbles - I love celebrating the end of the working day week with a bottle of sparkling wine, and happily  Jacobs Creek are helping out with $10 bottles of delicious bubbles. Yum!

How are you going? How was your week? Did anything stand out for you today?

Gratitude Project - 3rd November

Around this time of year, I start to flag... it's like I've been happy, cheerful, bubbly and funny (well, I think so at any rate hahaha!) for the last 10 months and I just don't have the energy to maintain the charade any more. It doesn't help that the end of the year is the also one of the busiest times at work.

Anyone else feel this way?

It seems exceptionally unfair that this happens just as I should be full of joy and energy in the lead up to Christmas!

That being said, it's not all doom and gloom! Despite my general world weariness and a desire to be on holiday (only 7 weeks to go!), I'm actually starting to feel a bit excited for the festive season... Mr M is pretty happy, as I am normally a bit "bah, humbug" about the whole Christmas thing. I put it down to the kids - I just want to make the day as magical as I remember it being in my childhood.

Anyhoo - on to my gratitudes for today:

1. A lunchtime run in the glorious sunshine! With summer just around the corner, I'm enjoying the ability to still run in a temperature that won't melt me :)

2. Watching my Boys play t-ball. I'm thrilled to have found a sport that they both enjoy, not to mention are good at! We have training on a Thursday evening, and afterwards Mac and Warrie love to watch the senior team in their training session - they've only been playing for six-weeks, but already they look up to those guys... it's so cute to watch.

3. Etsy; I love the virtual window shopping!! Currently I am indulging myself some cross stitch, and am readying to embark on the thrills of embroidery... that doesn't sound too "old" does it??? hehehe
I can literally spend hours scrolling through kits, patterns and finished products. My favourites are the modern ones - I've finished two Christmas designs, and I am on the search for something new to get my teeth into.
When I think about my lack of interest in anything crafty this time last year and I see how far I've come. Now THAT'S something to be grateful for!

So tell me - what's being going on with you? What has made you grateful today?

xx

Gratitude Project- 1st November

October was Mental Health month in Australia. My workplace offered a number of workshops/events during the month; I signed up for the four-week Mindfullness Meditation.

I got a lot out of it; I love meditating, but just never have the time.... scratch that: I don't make the time for it. Which is pretty silly, given how much I enjoy it!

At the end of the last session, we were taking about gratitude and the documented benefits it has in ones life when practised daily. I should know, it's worked for me too.

So in an effort to reclaim some long term happiness benefits, I've decided to start the Gratitude Project again:

1. I'm grateful for the ability to move my body, and to enjoy a gym class... even (especially??!) if I know I'll be sore tomorrow. 

2. I'm grateful for technology, so I can see pictures of my Mum enjoying her holiday with my brother and his family.

3. I'm grateful for giggling kisses with Mac and Warrie at bedtime - I hope they never grow out of it! (or at least take their time, before deciding that it/I'm uncool!)

I hope you'll join me in my quest for making my own happyness (obvs you'll be making your own, not necessarily adding to mine! Altho' I won't lie: I'd be stoked if you did join in!). Let me know in the comments something that you've been grateful for today

xx

Gratitude Project 18 - 20 April 2015

What a lovely weekend we had!

Mr M was working on Saturday, so I had Mac and Warrie all to myself. After a morning of chores around the house, I took them out for the afternoon.

After running around a playground for nearly two hours, I decided it was type for this mamma to go home and have a cuppa.

As I was strapping Warrie into his seat, Mac piped up with "Mummy, can we go to IKEA and play in the ball pit?". Unable to think of a valid excuse not to go, we headed over to IKEA and proceeded to wait for 45-minutes to get them into the one-hour free child care. Then I headed upstairs for a cup of tea and cake; I fully intended on working on a project I have, but ended up spending the time reading a book! It was such bliss.

Yesterday, we had a film crew at our house for a short film that Mr M is working on. I took the boys to a playcentre to meet with a girlfriend and her boys. Five hours of non-stop running around later, I headed home to find the crew still there. With two more scenes to film, I was delighted to be able to watch Mr M in cameraman mode for the first time ever.

{Mr M, doing his thang!}

It was utterly fascinating to be behind the scenes and see how the magic of the silver screen is made.

Today was a wet and miserable day, which of course meant that all the crazy people were out on the road to work.
After a shocking commute, I got out of the car only to realise that the umbrella was not in the car as I had assumed... and to top it all off, I discovered that my shoes have a hole in them, so I ended up with wet feet!
Oh well, if that is the worst thing I have to endure today, then I am a very lucky girl!

So the things I have been grateful for this weekend:

1. Spending some awesome time with my baby boys at the playground. They must have gone down that slide 50 time each - easily! Warrie crashed in the car before we made it home, so I put him straight to bed and then had a wonderful one-on-one cuddle with Mac. Which we both enjoyed. Those boys are the light of my heart.

2. My physio. I have some weird nerve/muscle/skeletal pain going on in my shoulder and neck. Whilst it hurts being manipulated, the kazillion cracks she got out of my back at the end of the session made it all worth it!

3. Mr M. I don't tell him often enough how grateful I am for him. I just always assume that he knows, but I want him to know know. Ya know? So not only will I put it out here, so the whole world can see how thankful I am for my amazeballs husband, I'm going to tell him to his face. And then I am going to give him the biggest cuddle ever!!

How was your weekend? Do you have a hole in your shoes? What was one of the biggest highlights of your weekend?

It's time for a change

Have you ever woken up one morning, and just KNOWN that something has fundamentally shifted within you?

{Image from here}

I've had it once before (that I've been aware of), when I realised that it was time to end my previous relationship.

But usually I have a minor shift; nothing that I really take notice of, more of a general “hmm, I think I might need something to change, but I’m pretty ok with what’s going on so I’ll keep it in mind but I’ll leave it for a while”

After one of these shifts, I will often give a half-hearted attempt to look for something that has the potential to soothe my soul. But I never follow through with anything, and so have never found what it is that I need. Oh man, I am so not good to myself!

A couple of months ago I had another minor shift, and so I have been in the perfunctory throes of trying to find what it was that could ease my appetite for… well, I don’t know what actually. I just know that I have been searching for something.

Then weekend before last, I went into the study to clean up a pile of books that Warrie had thoughtfully pulled off the bookshelves. The first book on the top of the pile was a book that I had bought years ago, but never got around to reading – “I could do anything. If only I knew what it was” by Barbara Sher.

I picked the book up and put it on my bedside table.

A few days later I flicked through the book, and it randomly opened at a page. The following extract jumped off of the page and hit me like a tonne of bricks.

“… people who fear failure have got it wrong. They really fear success. If you truly feared failure, you’d be very successful. People who fear anything stay as far away from it as possible.”

Wow. Powerful stuff, right?

I had to re-read it a few times to make sure that I had understood what I was seeing. And every time I read it, it was like an alarm going off in my head.

I have spent so many, many years telling myself that I wasn't doing things because I was scared of failing at them. In fact, Mr M and I had a bit of a row about it just last month – I had told him I wasn't writing because I was scared of not being good enough at it, and his response was to tell me that I was talking a crock of shit; that I was making excuses. Needless to say, I didn't talk to him for the rest of the evening.

“If you truly feared failure, you’d be very successful.”

{Image from here}

Then I saw that line, and suddenly I got it. Mr M was right, I WAS talking shit. And I have been making excuses for myself for YEARS – hiding behind my so called “fear of failure” to justify to myself why I hadn't taken chances.

The crazy thing is, when I HAVE taken chances things have worked! The biggest (and best) example of this was breaking off my engagement and leaving my life in the UK to take a chance on a new relationship in Australia.

I risked everything to be with someone I thought could be “The One”, and I ended up married to the love of my life and with two gorgeous boys to boot. Pretty sure that counts as successfully conquering my fears!

A few weeks ago, I had a situation at work that has shaken me to my core; my professional and personal confidence has been shattered, and I have been left confused, scared and very unsure.

{Image from here}

Since then, I have spent a LOT of time thinking about the situation. An unhealthy amount of time, actually.

I have been trying to shift my mindset from one of fretting about and worrying at the problem, to a much healthier one of not worrying about what has already has happened, letting go, and dealing with things as they arise.

No mean feat for a girl who has been a life-long worrier!

But I think I have been successful. Now, nearly three weeks on, I see this “situation” at work as a catalyst of sorts.

I believe that things happen for a reason. And as distressing and exhausting as it is; I know that this has happened so that I can grow from it.

Maybe the Universe was sick and tired of me not following through with the minor shifts I had been feeling, and this was the only way it could get my attention.

Maybe it’s just my turn to have something a little unpleasant happen to me (and let’s face it, if this is the worst that I ever have to deal with then I am a very lucky girl!)

Whatever the reason, there has been a fundamental shift within my psyche that is too big to ignore. I can no longer stay stagnant; I have to move, I have to push my boundaries.

I have to be brave and find what it is that truly makes my heart and soul sing.

{Image from here}

What makes your heart and soul sing? Have you ever experienced a shift of your be-ing? I’d love to hear about your journey!

Gratitude Project - 24th - 29th April

Long weekends - nothing can beat one. Except two long weekends in a row!
With the Easter weekend and then ANZAC Day following close behind, I have had a fab couple of short working weeks. And returning to work for a full five days is going to be a challenge.

Oh how quickly I adapt to being away from the office....

The best part about the double whammy long weekend, is that Mr M has been off work. It's been such a help having him at home; mornings have been easier, as have the evenings!, and we created a new bedtime routine - me reading two books to the boys, with Warrie snuggling on my lap whilst Mr M cuddles up to Mac in his bed.

The one thing that really stuck out for me this second long weekend, is how much the ANZAC day has come to mean something to me. Maybe its because I have two boys, and I can identify with the mothers that lost their sons in Gallipoli? Whatever the reason, I spent much of the Friday morning explaining (or trying to!) the importance of ANZAC day to Mac... without using the words "died" or "war", which I thought might be a little confronting for a 4.5 year old! I'm not sure how much he understood, or indeed if he was even listening to me!, but I felt like I solidified a little more in my own heart and mind as to why it is an important day for me.

When I first moved back to Australia, nearly 13 years ago, I had no real concept of ANZAC Day. I knew what it represented, and I understood the gravitas that surrounded it. But I just thought of it as a day off work and that whatever I got up to, I would be "doing it for the Diggers" - usually with a drink in my hand.

But as the years went by, and especially once I had Mac and Warrie, the value of the day shifted for me. All those men who perished in the Great War, in order that the world would be a better place, that we would have our freedom. The selflessness of those who were (are!) willing to go to war, those who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country, just blows my mind.

But I think the importance of the day really became apparent to me three years ago, when we were in Canberra kick-starting our honeymoon. We dragged Mac around the Australian War Memorial, (not sure what we were thinking, he was 18-months old!) and stayed for the Last Post ceremony. We had been reading the Roll of Honour, and I had just found my maiden name and was wondering if the names listed had been distant relatives of mine. Then the bugle started.

{image credit}

I am not ashamed to admit that I sobbed.

Standing next to the names of possible relatives, my first born son in my arms, my new husband standing protectively behind us, on a cold, crisp and beautiful Canberra afternoon. The sun was setting, the crowd of visitors in the Memorial was silent, and the haunting sound of the bugle was echoing through the air... How can you not be touched by that?

I cried for the men whose names were on the Roll of Honour.
I cried for the men and women currently serving.
I cried with thanks that I live in such an amazing country, where everyday I take for granted my freedom to live my life the way I see fit.
I cried with fear for the world that my child would inherit, and hoped that the horrors of war will never be something that he has to experience - a hope that I am sure every single parent in the world shares for their children.

Things I have been grateful for this long weekend:

1. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm forever grateful to the men and women who put their lives on the line for their country.

2. Bedtime snuggles with my boys

3. Family time - we had a lot of it, and we all thrived!


This wasn't what I thought this post was going to be about, my intent had been "light and breezy". But I guess it was something that my soul felt needed to be told.

Do you have a particular public holiday that holds importance or special meaning for you? I'd love to hear about it!

Gratitude Project - 6th February

A very non-descript day. Which was good.

Feeling a little lighter - I'm guessing that actually telling a couple of people what's going on in my mind has helped.

I think restarting my little ritual of finding things to be grateful for has helped too; already I'm viewing my day differently, wondering what I will be writing about. 

Today I am grateful for:

1. Swimming lessons. It means a slightly less rushed and hectic morning. Always a good thing!

2. My frangipani trees. Those little white and yellow flowers always lift my spirits. 

3. My 30 minute quiet time at home before I pick my boys up from daycare. I started this routine about three weeks ago, and it's already making a huge impact.

What has made you feel grateful today?

Gratitude Project - 4th February

A reasonable day today - even the small step of (finally!) putting some of my thoughts into words has helped to clear a space of my brain for happier things. Hoping the improvement continues!

Today I am grateful for:

1. Lunch out. It was so wonderful to see my lovely friend. She's on maternity leave at the moment, and I miss seeing her smiling face around the office.

2. Bedtime cuddles (the rated PG kind!) with Hubby. I needed that moment of connection with him; just a physical affirmation that we're ok. It worked :)

3. Leftovers! (Yay for not having to cook!)

What are you grateful for today?

Gratitudes

At the end of a long and crappy day, here I am laying in bed feeling irrationally angry and unable to sleep. 

What better time than now to restart my gratitude project, to remind me of the things that are good in my life and all I should be grateful for. 

So today, on 3rd February 2014 I am grateful for:

1. My Mum. Had it been necessary, she would have driven me home from work today. I'm so thankful she works so close to me... And is such an amazing and loving lady. 

2. Online food shopping. Anything that means I don't have to walk the aisles with two rambunctious boys is something to be eternally grateful for in my mind!

3. Tea. The elixir of life; especially at the tail end of a migraine, and served with a chocolate and banana weetbix muffin!

What are you grateful for? Feel free to share and spread the gratitude :)