Gratitude Project - 5th November

It's been a gloriously sunny (if windy!) day; which meant I powered through three loads of washing - a gratitude in itself!!

We've had a great mix of a lazy and productive day: t-ball with the kids, a delicious hour or so of reading in blissful peace and then an afternoon of playing in the backyard and cleaning the house.

All in all, it's been an awesome Saturday!

Things I'm grateful for today:

1. Having found such a lovely baseball club for my boys to be a part of. Their coach is a young guy with no kids, and he is so awesome with them all! And Mac and Warrie both adore him and talk about Coach Tim all the time. There's no pressure for them to perform, its all about learning the game and having fun - for all us newbie parents as well as the kids!

2. Being able to read my book with a cuppa and some toast in peace. After t-ball, the boys were vegged out in front of the telly with Mr M (who snoozed) and I retired to my bedroom with my book and read and read and read! The tea and toast was a delightful bonus!

3. Unexpected dinner with my in-laws. I have always loved Mr M's family like my own, and I feel very lucky to have a great relationship with his parents. Good company + yummy food + a couple of glasses of wine = a wonderful evening (especially as there was no cleaning up for me to do afterwards!)

I hope you've all had a great start to the weekend! Was there a stand out moment for you today?

Friday Feels - 1st August

After yesterday's pretty epic post, I'm not feeling particularly wordy today... so I'll just head straight into my Feels for the week.

Hearing: I have a confession (don't we all!): the "Golden Oldies" radio station is one of my favourite to listen to. That said, I think it is horrible and terrifying that they are starting to play my favourite tunes from the 90's... Surely the 90's can't be in the golden oldies phase yet!?!
Today this song came on the radio, and instantly I was transported back to my childhood; specifically, the health club where my dad was the squash instructor, I could almost smell the place. I love how music can do that!

Seeing: My all-time favourite series of books is being made into a TV show which starts in the US next week, so I have been watching all sorts of trailers and interviews with the cast and author. It's had me squee'ing like a teenager... and I'm pretty sure I'm going to cry when I see the first episode!
If you haven't already heard about Outlander, trust me it won't be long until you do - it's going to be bigger than Game of Thrones!

Tasting: Last weekend I had five bananas that needed using up, so I made 38 banana choc chip muffins. I was sensible (for once!) and froze them in smaller batches so I could savour them... and yeah, we're down to our last four. Either Mr M and I are gluttons, or they were super delicious. I'm going for the latter!

Smelling: This week we have had some unseasonably warm weather - it was a sunny and glorious 24c yesterday! The trees and flowers responded to the warmth, and I could smell spring in the air. It was delightful

Touching: My cat has his fluffy winter coat at the mo, and it is so soft and touchable. The best part is on his belly, but because he is a psycho cat I can only rub it when he's asleep. It's just as well for me that he is really enjoying snoozing on the sofa whilst Mr M and I watch the telly.

How was your week? What is your favourite type of music to listen to - I'm always open to expanding my musical tastes :)

It's time for a change

Have you ever woken up one morning, and just KNOWN that something has fundamentally shifted within you?

{Image from here}

I've had it once before (that I've been aware of), when I realised that it was time to end my previous relationship.

But usually I have a minor shift; nothing that I really take notice of, more of a general “hmm, I think I might need something to change, but I’m pretty ok with what’s going on so I’ll keep it in mind but I’ll leave it for a while”

After one of these shifts, I will often give a half-hearted attempt to look for something that has the potential to soothe my soul. But I never follow through with anything, and so have never found what it is that I need. Oh man, I am so not good to myself!

A couple of months ago I had another minor shift, and so I have been in the perfunctory throes of trying to find what it was that could ease my appetite for… well, I don’t know what actually. I just know that I have been searching for something.

Then weekend before last, I went into the study to clean up a pile of books that Warrie had thoughtfully pulled off the bookshelves. The first book on the top of the pile was a book that I had bought years ago, but never got around to reading – “I could do anything. If only I knew what it was” by Barbara Sher.

I picked the book up and put it on my bedside table.

A few days later I flicked through the book, and it randomly opened at a page. The following extract jumped off of the page and hit me like a tonne of bricks.

“… people who fear failure have got it wrong. They really fear success. If you truly feared failure, you’d be very successful. People who fear anything stay as far away from it as possible.”

Wow. Powerful stuff, right?

I had to re-read it a few times to make sure that I had understood what I was seeing. And every time I read it, it was like an alarm going off in my head.

I have spent so many, many years telling myself that I wasn't doing things because I was scared of failing at them. In fact, Mr M and I had a bit of a row about it just last month – I had told him I wasn't writing because I was scared of not being good enough at it, and his response was to tell me that I was talking a crock of shit; that I was making excuses. Needless to say, I didn't talk to him for the rest of the evening.

“If you truly feared failure, you’d be very successful.”

{Image from here}

Then I saw that line, and suddenly I got it. Mr M was right, I WAS talking shit. And I have been making excuses for myself for YEARS – hiding behind my so called “fear of failure” to justify to myself why I hadn't taken chances.

The crazy thing is, when I HAVE taken chances things have worked! The biggest (and best) example of this was breaking off my engagement and leaving my life in the UK to take a chance on a new relationship in Australia.

I risked everything to be with someone I thought could be “The One”, and I ended up married to the love of my life and with two gorgeous boys to boot. Pretty sure that counts as successfully conquering my fears!

A few weeks ago, I had a situation at work that has shaken me to my core; my professional and personal confidence has been shattered, and I have been left confused, scared and very unsure.

{Image from here}

Since then, I have spent a LOT of time thinking about the situation. An unhealthy amount of time, actually.

I have been trying to shift my mindset from one of fretting about and worrying at the problem, to a much healthier one of not worrying about what has already has happened, letting go, and dealing with things as they arise.

No mean feat for a girl who has been a life-long worrier!

But I think I have been successful. Now, nearly three weeks on, I see this “situation” at work as a catalyst of sorts.

I believe that things happen for a reason. And as distressing and exhausting as it is; I know that this has happened so that I can grow from it.

Maybe the Universe was sick and tired of me not following through with the minor shifts I had been feeling, and this was the only way it could get my attention.

Maybe it’s just my turn to have something a little unpleasant happen to me (and let’s face it, if this is the worst that I ever have to deal with then I am a very lucky girl!)

Whatever the reason, there has been a fundamental shift within my psyche that is too big to ignore. I can no longer stay stagnant; I have to move, I have to push my boundaries.

I have to be brave and find what it is that truly makes my heart and soul sing.

{Image from here}

What makes your heart and soul sing? Have you ever experienced a shift of your be-ing? I’d love to hear about your journey!

Gratitude Project - 5th April

This morning Mr M took the boys out for an adventure in the car. I was still in bed, struggling to wake up after a long night with Warrie, and as he walked out the door Mr M casually threw over his shoulder "Hey you should have a bath whilst we're out..." And then he closed the door.

It took all of 20-seconds for the words to register and for me to have started the bath running.

Seriously how decadent is a long hot bath first thing on an autumn morning?

Not as decadent as a long hot bath on an autumn morning with a huge cup of tea, three crumpets and a favourite book, whilst listening to some great tunes!

{Thank you Mr M!}

I had 45-minutes of relaxed bliss before everyone came home and my day started properly, and fabulously!

Things I a thankful for today:

1. Spending most of the day with a friend who really needed it. And despite there being four boys in the house, we managed to have a good chat.

2. A sunny evening, so we were able to take the boys for a play/bike ride to burn off their excess energy!

3. A deliciously cool night; I love snuggling up to Mr M for warmth. He's like my personal hit water bottle! :)

What is your favourite book?