Gratitude Project - 10th November

I don't know what's going on. The first few days of doing this project, I was so happy and able to see the joy in everything.

But for the last five or six days I've been moody and grumpy, and really REALLY struggling to find things that I am grateful for.

It's not my hormones, I've a while yet before the PMS hit and I rage for two days!, and I know that I've been blaming it on end of year fatigue, but I'm not convinced of that either.

I've spoken to a number of other people in various aspects of my life who are all feeling the same as me... and I can't help but wonder if it's a general malaise we are all suffering from about the state of the world??

Things I am grateful for today:

1. A lunch away from my office and the gym, with me on my own. Heaven!

2. Sitting in the sun chatting on the phone with a friend who has just come back from an overseas adventure - and arranging lunch next week!

3. Mr M going out to get some cheap bubbly, and coming home with a bottle AND some dinner!

How are you feeling at the moment? Are you able to find gratitude every day, or is it a struggle for you too?

A return to gratitude

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Being back in the real world after my ah-MAZE-ing trip to see my menfolk has been a little difficult to re-adjust to, and I have once again found myself treading down that well-worn path to "The Blues"...

I had a counselling session today, and at the end my counsellor set me homework: to spend 10-minutes EVERYDAY for the next week doing something to look after myself. It could be a walk, a meditation, sitting in silence, anything. I just have to do whatever I need for ME in that 10-minutes.

She has no idea how much I need to do just that.... Well, she probably does, seeing as she's my counsellor, but you know what I mean :)

But it made me realise that self-care has been so low on my list of priorities; like most mothers, my days seem to revolve around making sure that the kids (and husband!) are dressed/fed/bathed/happy/entertained/etc... I have almost no regard (or time!) for my own needs.

But she has given me permission to look after myself, and to be ok with it.

One of the things I have let slide of the last few months has been my gratitude journal - I've not written in it since the beginning of the year, which is pretty sucky when I know that I have so much that I am grateful for, and the fact that counting my gratitudes at the end of the day is a major tool in my arsenal against depression.

As I refuse to continue down the path of bleakness, I need to restock my well of happy-ness and remind myself of all the wonderful things I have in my everyday life.

So tomorrow I am going to restart my Gratitude Project for the month of April. At the end of the day I will post a snapshot of my day, my thoughts and feelings, and the three things I am grateful for.

I will also post a visulal of some of the things that I am grateful for to my Instagram too.

Feel free to join in my Gratitude Project here, or on FB or Instagram, and use #MTWGratitudeProject so I can see what things or moments brighten your day!

Just to fill you in...

Wooooah. Life has been a bit naff these last few months.

No, not true. Life has been very blessed these last few months; full of happy chaos and laughter.

I am the one who has been a bit naff.

About three months ago, I suddenly realised that I was hovering on the brink of depression, again.

The signs were all there: a general lack of interest in my appearance, lethargy, procrastination (although that is pretty much a permanent character flaw!), overly focussing on things outside of my control, road rage (basically shouting at those people who should never have been granted a drivers license - you know the ones I'm talking about), weeping at ads on TV...

And with the advantage of hindsight, I could see that I had been there for a while, at least two or three months before I noticed anything. 

About two months ago, I thought I was getting better. I thought I was keeping my head above the water... but really I was just doing an amazingly awesome job of fooling myself.

So now I'm in self repair mode. 

Whilst I’m not out of the woods yet – not by a long shot! – I am using the skills that I have learnt from previous counselling sessions to fight my way back to being my usual joyful self. 

Challenging unhelpful thoughts as they arise, trying to see the positives in daily life. Not always easy when my mind seems drawn to anger and the more maudlin side of things...

Anyway. Just wanted to touch base, see who's out there and let you know what was going in my world. It's not a great barrel of laughs at the moment, but I'm sure (I hope!) it's on the improve.

Watch this space! :)

What's been happening with you?

R U OK?

Today, in Australia, is it "R U OK? Day"

R U OK? is an organisation whose main aim is suicide prevention. Today they are encouraging everyone across the country to ask their families, friends and colleagues a very simple question; "Are you OK?"

They have a fantastic page explaining how to start a conversation with someone you are concerned about, and how to support them through the conversation.

They also have a list of numbers if you have serious concerns for someone who might be in crisis.

I have been touched by depression a few times, but only mildly.

Without the concern of my family noticing a change in my behaviour, and asking me if I was OK, I might not be the person I am today.

So, I'm asking - R U OK?

Who will you ask?

 Please, if you are concerned for someone in crisis, or need urgent support yourself, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

  

  

{images from here and here}