Gratitude Project - 16th April

Today is my half brother's birthday, he's turned 14. It has made me feel wistful.

I've been doing a lot of remembering/thinking recently about my teenage years. Mostly the range and depth of emotions that were in constant turmoil.

I'm excited for my brother to be going through this stage of life (though he is a much more level headed kid than I ever was!).

First crushes, first heartbreaks. The devastation of a broken friendship and the joy of mending it.

The desire to fit in, the desperation to be unique.

The sheer delight in being alive. 

He is finding his way through teenage-dom and coming out the other side, as a young man ready to make his mark on the world.

As a young girl, I never felt like I was the right age; I had always felt 16, even when I was 11 or 12.

Then when I turned 16, I finally felt like I was where I was supposed to be (age wise!). I sometimes think I've never really moved on from that age - I can stray into immature and puerile humour at any time! Which is not really helped by my paternal side of the family having a penchant for toilet humour!

I miss the newness of life as a teenager. Experiencing so many firsts. Learning how to be grown up, but knowing that I didn't have to be just yet; that's what parents are for!

And now I have two children. Crazy!!

I my mind I still feel 16. Mr M can still evoke in me similar feelings of being a teenager in love... 

These days I tell people that yes I am an adult, but I have no intention of being a proper grown up! :)

Things I am grateful for today:

1. Sunshine! I was starting to get bored of the rainy days. 

2. Bedtime snuggles as I read bedtime stories - my babies won't be small forever, I'm trying to make the most of it!

3. Exercise. I didn't want to go today (my workout buddy has been out of the office all week). But I made myself go, and did a 30-minute weights session. I love the feeling afterwards, that good sore pain that proves to me that I've worked hard.

Did you enjoy being a teenager? What's your favourite joke?

A post where I completely contradict myself

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I've been feeling old these last few weeks... most likely because my birthday is just around the corner, and that usually triggers a bit of a funk.

Add to that the little voice inside my head that says OH NO YOU'RE NOT, everytime I laugh and tell people "I'm 29 again!"

It doesn't help that Husband always (ALWAYS) backs up this voice, AND then tells everyone exactly how old I am. Obviously he still needs some work.

It's not that I miss being young - although if I could be 27 again, I would do it in a heartbeat.
And if I could be 20 again, knowing what I know now....? Yeah, I'd probably give it a crack too; maybe being armed with some knowledge would give me a bit more self-confidence. Probably not J

I miss the freedom of youth; the spontaneity of dinners out, trips overseas, hangovers, sleep-ins and excess energy.

Hmmmm maybe I'm confusing youth with motherhood??
Maybe I am just missing the "me" that I was before I had a baby?
 
You know the most ridiculous part of this post? I don't want everything that comes with youth.

I love my life. I love being married, and I love being a mum   J

I don't want to be out clubbing until dawn, stumbling down the street in shoes I can't walk in unable to hear what my friend is saying because the music was so loud and my hearing is shot.
(Although I am very partial to a bit of a boogie, as long as I'm home by midnight  J)

I don't want to wake up at 3 in the afternoon, hungover as all hell, wasting what's left of the day.
(But a sleep in til 7.30am would be divine!)

I just want to the energy, and to live with the freedom of choice once, maybe twice a month. To go out with Husband to see our friends and not have to worry about who is going to do the morning shift with the Little Monster.

I don't want to be young, but do I want to be more youthful.

And thankfully, that is something I can change!

Do you miss being young or youthful? Is there any age you would do over again or avoid at all cost?

A post for my Brother

Today is my brother's birthday - and the only hug I can give him is a telephonic one. Well that and this electronic one:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BROTHER!!

My family is spread across the globe - the UK, Malaysia and the US; which is awesome for holiday destinations, but sucks for the big stuff... especially when there are nephews involved (I can't say nieces, as there are none yet!!)

My brother and I are close, and to be on the other side of the world from each other is really hard for us. And having children made us both realise just how hard being apart is:

• We weren't there for the birth of each other's first child.
• We don't get to see the children's milestones.
• We don't get to share a bottle of wine for our birthdays.
• Most Christmases are spent apart.

The last time I had my whole family together in the one spot (including step family and in-laws) was at our wedding. Before that.... jeez, I can't even remember; it was probably before my parents got divorced, so over 12 years ago. Too long.

The older I get, the more I realise the importance of family; and having a child has certainly helped with the realisation J

I relish having my mum and step-dad only 15-minutes away, my in-laws are literally just down the road from us, and my step-siblings are a 30-minute drive away; I am very lucky to have a fantastic family support network so close by.

For me, the hardest part of living so far apart from my brother is that my Little Monster misses out on growing up with one of his cousins. And although that make me sad, he is lucky enough to have five other cousins to play with close by... so it's not all bad!  J

The flip side of all this global distances malarkey, is that when the Boys are old enough there will be alternate holidays between countries (helloooo holidays!!)

The Little Monster will stay with my brother and sister-in-law for a couple of weeks whilst Husband and I swan around the European countryside.

Then we will have my nephew for a couple of weeks whilst his parents have a well deserved break; may I suggest the wine region, Brother? J

Which all sounds good in theory - I'm looking forward to putting it into practise!

So this post is for you LB... Happy Birthday!! BS xx

 

  

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