Just touching base

I wasn't going to write any posts on my trip; in all honesty, I hadn't anticipated having the time to!

But this afternoon, the opportunity presented itself: my Little Monster is happily engrossed in SpongeBob, Husband is laying on the sofa with his book and the rest of my Family are hanging by the pool or playing squash.
A tropical downpour has just passed over; the sound and smell of it reminding me of my childhood years growing up in the Tropics.
All is well in my little world.

And to top it all off, we had a lovely Christmas full of the usual overdose on food and wrapping paper.

This trip has been so wonderful, as I get to spend long overdue time with my Brother and Sister-in-Law, as well as my Dad, his wonderful Wife, and my half Brother.

But the best part for me, has been watching my Little Monster playing with his Cousin. These two little boys have only met once before (at our wedding), and within hours of their second meeting they were laughing and giggling like long lost buddies, and I am pretty sure they were even conspiring to get up to lots of mischief together!!

I am desperately NOT counting the days that have already passed, the time is already going to fast... Instead I am trying my best to cherish each moment with the Family, to burn each memory on my brain so I can always refer to them when I need a pick me up

I hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas with your families (or just some good old fashioned time out, if Christmas isn't your bag, baby)

I shall finish this post with a little bit of a gush... feel free to reach for a sick bag!
I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family! We live spread across the globe, and yet when we are together everything just seems to slip back into place; conversations flow and the laughter is almost never-ending.
I truly am a lucky lucky girl

Look out holidays - here I come!

Well, so much for a quiet end to the working year... It's been non-stop right up to the last moment.

But enough whinging - my holiday starts in exactly 3 minutes, and I am on the count down!!!

This year, we are heading overseas for Christmas with my Dad. This will be the Little Monster's second trip on a plane, although I very much doubt he remembers the first as he was only 6-months old!

I am quite apprehensive about taking a rambunctious toddler on a plane for 10 hours, but I am firmly keeping my goal in sight - relaxing by a pool whilst enjoying a refreshing mocktail!

Husband maintains that he is really looking forward to taking the Little Monster on a plane, so I have given him full responsibility for the entire flight. Hey, he asked for it!  :)

I wish you all a very happy Christmas (or festive season, for those who don't celebrate Christmas!), and a fantabulous start to 2012!!

Stay safe, be happy and above all have fun!!

image from {here}

When pride gets in the way

This time tomorrow, one of my very dearest friends will be going into hospital ready to meet her second child. Such exciting times!!

What makes this all the more exciting for me (apart from the fact that it makes my own pregnancy much more real!), is that I missed out on her first pregnancy.

This time around, I have seen her blossom and grow every week of the pregnancy.

You see, due to a lack of communication, on both parts, we had a falling out just after my Little Monster was born.

It broke my heart not to have her in his life, and I spent many agonising hours, sometimes in floods of tears, sometimes just so angry, wondering what the hell had happened and how to fix it.

And yet I did nothing.

My spiteful pride stopped me from picking up the phone and starting a conversation.
My foolish pride stopped me from letting my beautiful Little Monster be loved on by another.

Then I heard that she was pregnant - something I knew that she had always wanted - and I reached out with a text message.
But once again, my idiotic pride stepped in and I failed to register that her reply was her way of reaching back to me.

Another lonely and sad five months passed. Don't get me wrong, I was busy and surrounded by friends and family whom I adore; but there was a gap in my heart where she should have been, and it was a constant ache.

We reconciled just before my Little Monster's first birthday - just weeks away from her own birth experience.
It was through Facebook... She made a comment on my status update, and it made me smile. I sent her a message telling her how much I missed her, and she replied with a similar sentiments.

So I called her, and we spent the next few minutes crying down the phone to each other; agreeing that whatever had happened between us had been a stupid waste of time - we had lost precious moments with each other during the most momentous times of our lives, and we both deeply regretted it.

And just like that, we were back in each others lives.
Talking daily, and making each other laugh. It was like we had picked up from where we left off.
A few weeks later, I was one of the first people to visit her when her son was born and I wept as I held him. Tears of happiness at our re-discovered friendship, of pride in my friend having delivered such a beautiful little boy and of hope for what the future held for our sons, and for our friendship.

I wasted almost 12-months mourning a friendship that I thought was lost, without really fighting for it.

But we both had reached out and were full of forgiveness, and we accepted the other's apology without a question.

My learning curve as a Mother helped me to see what was truly important, to move past the slights (real or imagined) and to mend a friendship that deep down I knew I wanted to keep.

Tomorrow my dear dear friend will be meeting her second baby.

And I will be patiently waiting at the hospital door for them to let me in to see her and the new addition to her family, and to weep in happiness at all the marvels life has to offer.


Have you ever unwittingly lost a friendship? Did you find it again?

I'm baaaaack!

It’s been a while since my last post... I’m sorry about the wait, but thanks for sticking with me! J

I have two excuses for my lack of communication:

Firstly, I had lost my blogging mojo. 

I’m something of an expert on self sabotage, and I had put myself under a lot of pressure to write this “you beaut” blog that I updated daily, that was funny and charming and full of useful insights to the mind of a slightly frazzled mother....

It was, quite simply, something that I just couldn’t achieve; and (true to form) I had once again set myself up for failure.

So I took some time off, to reflect on what I want from/for my blog, and to basically have a reality check!

Secondly (an probably most importantly), the one thing that I really wanted to write about, I couldn’t.

And I knew that I wouldn’t be able to keep my big mouth shut if I came online.... so now that I am past the 12-week mark, I can shout it from the rooftops:

I am pregnant!  J

So here I am; back in the blogosphere, a tad rounder than I was before!, with a renewed sense of purpose, and ready to blog from the heart  J

What’s been happening in your world since my last post??

10 Things you REALLY didn't need to know about me



{source}

I sort of feel like I have "made it" in the blogging world - I have had my first tag in a "10 Things" game.... So a big THANK YOU and shout out to the lovely Karen at Simply Said for tagging me  J

Except now I have to think about 10 whole things that you really don't need to know about me, AND that I would deem postable for the interwebs...

Hmmm, this isn't going to be easy... but here we go!

~~ ** ~~ ** ~~

10 Things you REALLY didn't need to know about me

1. I am not a neat and tidy person, but I am CLEAN person (at least I used to be before the arrival of the Little Monster!).
A pile of clothes laying on the floor? Couldn't care less.
Potential lurgies living on my kitchen surface? Quick hand me the bleach!!

2. I love Sudoku, the harder the better.
It is a major part of my bedtime routine! If I don't do at least one puzzle whilst waiting for the Sandman, then I can't sleep. And occasionally if I'm stuck on one when I drift off, I solve the puzzle in my sleep!

3. If I am hungry, I am cranky.
I will snarl at you if you so much as look at me funny when I'm hungry. And if you ask me to do anything that requires some vague exertion, make no mistake, I will bite your head off.
But just to clarify (and hopefully not scare you all off!), I do have to be completely ravenous; as in I-could-eat-my-own-arm hungry.

4. Ditto for being tired; as in about-to-fall-asleep-on-my-feet-tired.
Get that girl to bed!!

5. When it comes to all things technical or gadety, I am a wannabe Gen Y.
iPhone 4S? Want it. Social media? It practically controls me.  J
I haven't yet figured out how Google+ works... and honestly, I don't think I'll bother.

6. (sticking with the social media theme for one more go) I am addicted to some of the games on Facebook.
I will admit that Farmville was one of them for a while, but I have weaned myself off of that one, thankfully!!

7. Shoes are my weakness.
I can't walk in a heel bigger than 3cm, but I sure can lust after them... Prior to being a Mummy, one of my favourite thing to do was to hang out in various department stores trying on the tallest and most expensive pair of shoes (hellloooo Jimmy Choo!) and then teeter around on the carpet (I can't seem to walk on a normal floor surface in heels, what the heck is wrong with me!?); or stand in front of the full length mirror admiring how awesome stilettos made my legs look  J

8. I am a freestyle step addict!!
I was doing intermediate freestyle step classes three times a week whilst pregnant with the LM. I only stopped stepping at 37-weeks because I wanted to be "properly pregnant" - ie stuffing my face and lazing on the sofa - just for a little while

9. I love reading/printing off/collecting recipes, but I'm not a big fan of cooking; probably because I hate the washing up. (Which kind of contradicts 10...)
Occasionally I will go through a phase of cooking something new and exciting every night for a week (Husband thoroughly enjoys these rare moments!), but generally I stick to my handful of old faithfuls that don't really require much thought or effort.
That being said, on the rare occasions I have the time (and toddlers are a great time sapper!) I do enjoy creating a delicious meal that Husband and I will go back for seconds or even thirds of!

10. I. LOVE. FOOD.
If I could eat for 16 hours a day (and not get disgustingly fat!) I absolutely would!
My Stepdad says that watching me eat makes him hungry because I enjoy my food so much. I take that as a compliment.

~~ ** ~~ ** ~~

So there you have it. 10 things you now know about me, that you probably didn't need to know.
And you know what? As I got closer to the last one, I could suddenly think of lots more to add! I think I'll save those little tidbits for another post.

Now the game goes that you are supposed to tag five other blogs to keep the tag going, but all the blogs I follow have already done this.

So until I make some more bloggy friends, why don't you tell me 3 things that I didn't really need to know about you! J

A post where I completely contradict myself

{source}

I've been feeling old these last few weeks... most likely because my birthday is just around the corner, and that usually triggers a bit of a funk.

Add to that the little voice inside my head that says OH NO YOU'RE NOT, everytime I laugh and tell people "I'm 29 again!"

It doesn't help that Husband always (ALWAYS) backs up this voice, AND then tells everyone exactly how old I am. Obviously he still needs some work.

It's not that I miss being young - although if I could be 27 again, I would do it in a heartbeat.
And if I could be 20 again, knowing what I know now....? Yeah, I'd probably give it a crack too; maybe being armed with some knowledge would give me a bit more self-confidence. Probably not J

I miss the freedom of youth; the spontaneity of dinners out, trips overseas, hangovers, sleep-ins and excess energy.

Hmmmm maybe I'm confusing youth with motherhood??
Maybe I am just missing the "me" that I was before I had a baby?
 
You know the most ridiculous part of this post? I don't want everything that comes with youth.

I love my life. I love being married, and I love being a mum   J

I don't want to be out clubbing until dawn, stumbling down the street in shoes I can't walk in unable to hear what my friend is saying because the music was so loud and my hearing is shot.
(Although I am very partial to a bit of a boogie, as long as I'm home by midnight  J)

I don't want to wake up at 3 in the afternoon, hungover as all hell, wasting what's left of the day.
(But a sleep in til 7.30am would be divine!)

I just want to the energy, and to live with the freedom of choice once, maybe twice a month. To go out with Husband to see our friends and not have to worry about who is going to do the morning shift with the Little Monster.

I don't want to be young, but do I want to be more youthful.

And thankfully, that is something I can change!

Do you miss being young or youthful? Is there any age you would do over again or avoid at all cost?

How time flies when you're looking a photos

It's been a while since I was here - sorry 'bout that.

No excuses. Well actually a few excuses, mostly work is really ramping up for me at the moment, so I can't blog at work (can you believe the unfairness of it all!), and I hate being on the computer when I get home from work.

So I thought I would make the most of the time whilst the Little Monster was down for his nap, and come write a witty and insightful post on my long weekend.

But I kept looking at the blank screen.

No words were coming, so I thought I'd hit Facebook up for some "inspiraton". And then I got caught up with Facebook, and seeing what my friends are up to.

Then I realised that I haven't added any photos of the Little Monster since APRIL.... that's awful!! Considering how fast toddlers change, it has been FIVE MONTHS since I showed my friends any new pictures of my son. How slack!

So after downloading/filing all the photos appropriately, I have spent the last 40-minutes reliving the Little Monster's April to September in photos.

He is gorgeous and I love him.

I can hear the Little Monster stirring now, so I won't get the photos up today - but they're ready to go next time I find a spare 45-minutes at home.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend... and a fantastic long weekend if you were in NSW!

Regrets? I've had a few

*~*~* Sorry for the lack of images - I couldn't find anything that felt like it matched the words *~*~*

The other day I was talking to my mum about regrets, and how I have only one regret.

Of course there are all those "morning after" regrets; the extra shot I should never have asked for, the boy I did or didn't kiss, the one night stand that became a relationship* ...

Not to mention the shopping regrets; the jeans that I never lost weight for, that dress that was a little on the "slutty" side, the $250 shoes I only wore once...

But in the grand scheme of things, these are all very minor. And not really regrets, more living life, making mistakes and hopefully learning from them.

My one regret is that I didn't study French after my GCSE's.

Rightly or wrongly, I blame this on my teacher at the time. She used the double whammy approach of teaching with sarcasm and reverse psychology... which some people can cope with, they take on a "I'll show you" attitude and get great results.

But not me - if you tell me often enough that I'm too stupid, I'll believe you.

So all the "You'll never pass your exams" and "Don't even bother trying to do A-level French, you'll never be able to do it" comments, they hit home.
Every. Single. Time.

But I passed my exams. What's more I got an A+, thank you very much.

So I guess I did show her.

Yet I just couldn't find the belief in myself that I could be sucessful at a higher level. I had spent two years listening to this woman tell the class (me) that we were idiots and didn't have the aptitude for languages.

So despite the fact that she was obviously so very wrong, and I absolutely had the brain for languages, I pushed French to the side and tried my hand at something else - something that I well and truly failed in.
Hey, why fail at all unless you are going to do it in spectacular style?!

After talking to my Mum about this regret, she turned and looked at me and said, "Do you realise just how lucky you are?"

Ummmm, apparently not Mum.... in what way?

"You have the ability and opportunity to change that - it no longer has to be a regret for you. So many people have such big regrets that they can never change..."

I sat still for a moment to let that sink in... It didn't take long for the enormity of her words to hit me.

Not only can I fix my regret and study French again, but I have been lucky enough to have (so far!) lived my life making big decisions that I have been happy with.

And for an indesicive and procrastinating person with low self-belief.... I think that's pretty damn awesome.

Do you have any regrets? Do you have the ability to change them?

* to be fair, I didn't actually regret that one, at the time or even now. It just sounded good when I wrote it...

Heartache

Shortly after pressing "publish" on my last post, I was given some devastating news; a very dear friend of mine had given birth to a stillborn.

At the same time as I was bemoaning the (very insignificant) fact that I was struggling to find balance in my life, my friend was struggling to understand the very heartbreaking situation that she suddenly found herself in.

So I'm taking it all back.

I am so blessed. My life is as balanced as it needs to be.

I came home from work this afternoon and held my son close. I wept at the unfairness of life.

I sobbed at the sadness of a life lost; a baby, a life that hadn't even officially begun.

I cried for all the firsts that won't be experienced, for the hopes and dreams that have been so cruelly crushed.

My heart and soul aches for my beautiful friend and her husband.
I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that they are feeling.

Whatever you believe in; if is the Universe, angels or prayers... Please send light, love and strength to two wonderful people whose world has been tragically turned upside down today.

Thank you
xxxxxxxxx

A balancing act

I have been struggling recently. Struggling to find balance in my life

I suppose I am looking for nirvana - that balance of being a worker, a mother, a housewife, and ME. And right at this moment in time, I feel like I am failing at all of them.

In my nirvana, I would be a stay-at-home-mum, with the Little Monster in daycare just two days a week to learn and practice his social skills, whilst I do housewifey things and even manage to get a pamper session in!

In my "slightly-more-realistic-but-still-nearly-ideal" world, I would be working three short days a week. On the two other days, I would have one day to myself to do housework or maybe even go to the movies on my own (bliss!), and the other day would be spent with playing the Little Monster, or meeting up with my Mum's group friends in a park somewhere and letting our kids run wild...

Here's my current reality:

Work:
I'm not putting the maximum effort in at work. I know this, I can feel it. It's not that I don't like my job, it's just that my focus is all off.
Because my attitude it all wrong at the moment, I am having to stay back late to get things finished. Which means that I miss out on time with the Little Monster.

Mothering:
I feel like I don't spend nearly enough time with the Little Monster during the week. I try to get home in time for dinner, but more often than not I am home just in time for bath-time and a little play before bed. Hardly what you would call quality time.

I do have two full days on the weekend with him, where we pack in a lot of mother/son bonding time. We wander around the shops and have a babycino, or go to a park. We have lots of giggles and lots of cuddles.

But I still feel like I am missing out on so much.

I am so thankful for our wonderful Family Daycare Lady. She loves the Little Monster almost as much as we do, and he loves her right back. She is awesome at telling us about the little things he gets up to, or the new skills he has learnt.

The fact that he is happy at daycare means the world to me, and lifts a small part of the guilt I feel leaving him there four days a week.

I am also very thankful for my Mum, who has the Little Monster one day a week. And for my Father-in-Law, who has him on the days when Mum can't - I love that he is building a close relationship with his grandparents!

Houswife:
For some unknown reason, I have it in my head that I should be able to be the perfect housewife/mother package as well as hold down a full-time job.

I don't know where the idea came from, but it's firmly in there.

And it's such bullshit, because I was was hardly the picture perfect housewife before we became parents - although I was much better than I am now!

I have signed up to a blog to help me get things under control, (thank you The Organised Housewife!) and I am slowly (ever so slowly!) but surely regaining control over my complete lack of interest in housework.

ME:
This is my biggest fail of all.

I can't remember the last time I did anything for ME (Husband's erratic work hours don't help with this). The most I do for ME, is exercising 2 or 3 times a week.

Sometimes I feel like the Universe is against me on this; nearly every single time I have told Husband about something I want to do for ME and we've set aside the time, he gets a phone call or an email offering work.
And because Husband is just making a firm start in a new career (not to mention the fact that we need the cash!) I don't feel like I can say "stuff the work, I told you about my ME plans first!"

I feel like I am juggling so much at the moment, and something has to give.

What am I saying, something already has - the time I allocate to ME

The first step, I guess, is to take a step back and reassess my priorities - maybe I'm being to hard on myself. I am usually harder on myself than others, so it is quite possible that all of this is a manifestation of my guilt, causing it to seem so much bigger than it is.

Maybe once I have done that, finding the balance will seem more achieveable - and I might get a snippet of ME time!

How do you balance your life? What are you strategies when things feel out of whack? Do you get regular "ME time"?

  

{image from here and here}

R U OK?

Today, in Australia, is it "R U OK? Day"

R U OK? is an organisation whose main aim is suicide prevention. Today they are encouraging everyone across the country to ask their families, friends and colleagues a very simple question; "Are you OK?"

They have a fantastic page explaining how to start a conversation with someone you are concerned about, and how to support them through the conversation.

They also have a list of numbers if you have serious concerns for someone who might be in crisis.

I have been touched by depression a few times, but only mildly.

Without the concern of my family noticing a change in my behaviour, and asking me if I was OK, I might not be the person I am today.

So, I'm asking - R U OK?

Who will you ask?

 Please, if you are concerned for someone in crisis, or need urgent support yourself, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

  

  

{images from here and here}

Ten years ago...

The New York skyline - before and after

The question used to be, "Where were you when JFK was shot?"

Now it's, "Where were you on 9/11?"

I remember. Exactly. Like it was yesterday.... which is a little strange, because I don't always remember my yesterdays.

I was working in a call centre in the UK. It had been a busy day, when all of a sudden the calls tapered off and then stopped completely.

My colleagues and I looked at each other and wondered if there had been some sort of phone failure.

Then one of the supervisors (the only ones who had internet access on their computers) let out a horrified gasp, "There's been a terrorist attack in New York... I think they've blown up the World Trade Centre!"

We all huddled around her computer trying to read the small font, to see the pictures, to make sense of what was happening.

At 5pm, there was a mass exoudus from the office. I went straight home and turned on the TV. For the next few hours I sat glued to the set, with tears streaming down my face and my heart breaking.

I watched and re-watched the scenes unfold; the planes, the explosions, the smoke, the collapse.

I watched people throw themselves out of the building. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; I couldn't imagine having to make that choice.

I thought about the people in the building, those in the levels above and those in the levels below. I thought about the families of those in the Towers; not knowing where their loved ones were, if they were safe.

I couldn't (still can't!) imagine how those people who were trapped felt. Uncertain, to begin with, of what was going on and then completely aware of what had happened, and what was to come.

Eventually, emotionally exhausted, I turned of the TV and cried myself to sleep.

September 11, 2001 - a day that has been etched into my heart.

The day the world changed forever.

Where were you when you when the World Trade Centre was attacked?

{image from here}

Gratitude

A while ago, I was pretty down in the dumps.

It's not the first time I've been there. But thanks to counselling and a gaining a Certificate III in Holistic Counselling, I know my mental-self pretty well now and I can read the signs that all is not well in "Melissa's Brain"

So I let one of my Besties know that I was not in a good head space, had a vent, and then booked myself in for some counselling

My beautiful friend took on board everything I had said, and because she was about to go on an overseas adventure, she sent me a care package. (Yes, she is that awesome!)

In that care package was a Gratitude book from kikki.K, one of my all-time favourite shops.

It took me a little while to get around to writing in it. But two months ago, I decided to make a start; I decided to start looking at life with a more positive attitude.

Now every night, before I go to sleep, I reflect back on the day and write down three things that I am grateful for.

I am ALWAYS grateful for my Little Monster, and the smile he brings to my heart. The same can also be said for Husband.
(Although they are also both very capable of making me want to pull my hair out!)

Most days I know exactly what I am grateful for, and I can fill up the page within minutes of putting pen to paper.

But it's not always so easy. Sometimes and I get the first two, and then I have to turn to Husband and ask him what he thinks I should be grateful for.

Other times I can sit there for a good 20 minutes before I have written a word.

It is those times where I struggle, that I think I gain the most benefit from the book. Because those are the days where I have to really reflect.

I have to look back at my day, and if nothing big jumps out at me, I have to look back at the smaller things in my day.

Last week I posted about having a pretty lousy day. That night as I lay in bed, book on lap and pen in mouth, I could not think of a single thing to write.

I decided that for that day, I was grateful for:

• Getting a seat on the bus into work
• Eating my lunch in the sunshine
• Having a glass of wine with dinner

Hardly mind blowingly insightful or deep. But momentous in that I was able to find three things to be
grateful for on a very shitty day.

Gratitude is a skill that I am slowly learning, and one that I am pleased to have. Because now I can see the more positive things in my life, and no matter how big or small I know that I will always have something to be grateful for.

How do you find the positives in your day?

{images from here, here and here}

A Father's Day post

I may have mentioned it before (I do tend to repeat myself!) but I am a very lucky lady.

I am blessed to have three men in my life that I can call my Fathers; my Dad, my step-Dad and my Father-in-Law.

My Dad lives overseas and my step-Dad is on a well deserved holiday, so I won't be able to see them on what Husband calls "The Best Day Of The Year".
(I will get to see my Father-in-Law for a hug, thankfully, and I can't wait to see his face when he reads the card I got!)

This Father's Day, as I watch Husband and the Little Monster laugh and cuddle and play together, I want to share my gratitude for these wonderful men; so I am dedicating this post to the father figures in my life.

They have loved me and supported me through all sorts of crises (real and imagined - I'm looking at you 15-year old tormented drama queen self!)

When I have reached a cross roads, they have all held my hand whilst I made a decision. They have offered advice when it has been most needed, and have never tried to force me to make a decision before I was ready.

Between them, they have celebrated all of my triumphs in life; from taking my first step, to passing exams, from ending a relationship and moving half way around the world, to giving birth to my son.

All three of these men love me unconditionally, and all three of these men have helped me become the person I am today.

Without them, my life (I!) would be very different.

So, Happy Father's Day gentlemen. Thank you for all that you have given me and for everything else yet to come!

{image credit}

The perfect end to an otherwise ordinary week

This week at work was not my greatest, but thankfully it is almost over - and I am looking forward to a weekend with Husband and the Little Monster.

Just in case you happen to live under a rock, this Sunday is Father's Day.

It's Husband's second one, and I'm am so excited about getting the the Little Monster to wake up his Daddy with a big kiss and cuddle.... or by his zombie walk (his little voice saying "baaaaiiins, baaaaaiiinnns", coupled with the flailing arm/swaying walk , cracks me up every time!).

We are hoping to get out of the city for a night, or at least for a day!, just to have some good old fashioned family "down time" in the clean country air.

However we spend this weekend, it will be full of love and cuddles and family.

What a lucky girl I am!

{Image credit}

What are you up to this weekend?

Not the best day on record....

*~*  language warning  *~*

One of my favourite childhood books, and so apt for today! Just substitute "Melissa" for "Alexander"...

Today has been a shitty day.

I am juggling full-time work with full-time mothering. For the last year, since I came back from maternity leave it has been a struggle, but I have coped.

But in the last two weeks, for some unknown reason, I have become a bit of a ball dropper.

Mostly, the dropped balls have been very minor.

Unfortunately, the thing that I dropped the ball on today was unable not quite so minor. Nor could it be resolved.

Fortunately, I have quite possibly the best boss in the world, so she sort of talked me off the ledge; and reminded me that everything is fixable.

I also have some fantastic colleagues who were happy to listen to my near hysterical "oh fuck, what do I do now" rant.

And I have my amazing Husband who, when I called him at work, almost in tears and said "I've dropped the ball, it's not the first time. I think I've really fucked up and I don't know what to do...", replied with a "Everything will be fine Babe. It's probably not as bad as you think. And when you get home I will be there to give you a big cuddle."

Ok, he didn't say the last bit. But I know that it was exactly what he meant - one of the joys of being with someone for so long; sometimes you don't always have to use words.

There is also some delicious red wine waiting for me at home too, which helps.

So today has been a bad day, but there is still plenty of time for it to get better!!

{image 1, 2}

Who do you turn to when you've dropped the ball?

The day I (sort of) became a housewife

For the first time in my life, I did something housewifey.

Today I woke up with the overwhelming urge to make lemon and sugar crepes. Not sure what prompted the urge (I haven't made crepes for years!!), but figured I should just run with it... anyway, it would be a lovely treat for the Little Monster.

So I googled a crepe recipe - thank goodness for iphones!! - and set about making a culinary delight for the family.

Husband came into the kitchen shouting "Who are you and what have you done with my wife!?!!"

Oh ho ho, such a funny man.

But to be fair to him, it is the first time in almost 9 years that I have ever made crepes for breakfast, and on a workday at that!

They weren't very attractive crepes (hence not using my own photo), but they were yummo! I gave the Little Monster half a crepe with jam (didn't think it would be nice to give him to the daycare lady all hyped up on sugar).... he had a mouthful, but wasn't impressed.

However, when he had a mouthful of Husbands sugared up crepe, his eyes lit up and I could almost see the sugar rush happen before my eyes.... So daycare lady; sorry about the hyperactive child this morning, I hope his come down wasn't too intolerable.

What deliciousness have you surprised your family (or yourself!) with?

{image 1}

A post for my Brother

Today is my brother's birthday - and the only hug I can give him is a telephonic one. Well that and this electronic one:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BROTHER!!

My family is spread across the globe - the UK, Malaysia and the US; which is awesome for holiday destinations, but sucks for the big stuff... especially when there are nephews involved (I can't say nieces, as there are none yet!!)

My brother and I are close, and to be on the other side of the world from each other is really hard for us. And having children made us both realise just how hard being apart is:

• We weren't there for the birth of each other's first child.
• We don't get to see the children's milestones.
• We don't get to share a bottle of wine for our birthdays.
• Most Christmases are spent apart.

The last time I had my whole family together in the one spot (including step family and in-laws) was at our wedding. Before that.... jeez, I can't even remember; it was probably before my parents got divorced, so over 12 years ago. Too long.

The older I get, the more I realise the importance of family; and having a child has certainly helped with the realisation J

I relish having my mum and step-dad only 15-minutes away, my in-laws are literally just down the road from us, and my step-siblings are a 30-minute drive away; I am very lucky to have a fantastic family support network so close by.

For me, the hardest part of living so far apart from my brother is that my Little Monster misses out on growing up with one of his cousins. And although that make me sad, he is lucky enough to have five other cousins to play with close by... so it's not all bad!  J

The flip side of all this global distances malarkey, is that when the Boys are old enough there will be alternate holidays between countries (helloooo holidays!!)

The Little Monster will stay with my brother and sister-in-law for a couple of weeks whilst Husband and I swan around the European countryside.

Then we will have my nephew for a couple of weeks whilst his parents have a well deserved break; may I suggest the wine region, Brother? J

Which all sounds good in theory - I'm looking forward to putting it into practise!

So this post is for you LB... Happy Birthday!! BS xx

 

  

{image credits 1, 2}

I love equal love

Now I'm not one to get involved in political broo-haha's; more often than not it's because I don't know what I'm talking about!

But this one just cuts too close to home.

bigwords is a blog that I (literally!) discovered this morning, and she recently posted about equal love. I thought was a wonderful post and absolutely mirror's my own thoughts on same sex relationships.

She also created this button:




A beautiful relative of mine is gay, and our marriages were only weeks apart.... execpt mine was recognised as legal, and hers was not.

Hardly fair.

We share the same feelings of love towards our partners, we want the same things from our relationships. Why should it matter that the person she loves is another woman? Why should it stop her from being legally married?

As bigwords so eloquently said, "Love is love is love."

So, I am adding this button to my blog - as a small way of showing my support for the gay community, and for their fight for equal love.

Peace out x

My {relaxing} day off

Firstly:

A big shout out to The Organised Housewife who is dedicating this month to Wardrobe Organisation – the inspiration behind my Day Off .  And to Toddler Tastes , for the dinner inspiration   J

NB – better give you all the heads up, this is a bit of a novel  J

My flat looks like a bomb site; the kitchen floor needs a damn good mop, the carpet hasn’t seen a vacuum cleaner in weeks and my wardrobe has spilled onto the floor.

The mess clutter was really starting to get me down, so I decided to take a day off from work to play at being a housewife.

Now, I am not known for being good at getting things done in a timely manner – especially housework! – so in order to at least try to combat my affliction, I wrote a list of everything I wanted to achieve, the things I needed to buy, and I set myself a schedule.

I was going great guns until 10.45am.

“I’ll just pop into Kmart to buy the few things I need for this endeavour. I know what I want, so it should be a quick stop. By the time I get this and the food shop I’ll only be about 10 minutes behind schedule.”

Famous last words.

By the time I had gotten everything I needed (and put back everything I didn’t!) and was on the road home, it was 12.30pm. I was an hour and a half behind schedule!!

Driving home, I quickly rescheduled my time – ok, no time for lunch now, I’ll just eat it whilst I’m hanging out the washing. Then I’ll quickly wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, mop the floor, and then head to the WARDROBE OF DOOOOOM for a good 2 hours before getting dinner prepped and then picking up the Little Monster and Husband.... PHEW!

I got home, unpacked the bags and made a sandwich. Whilst waiting for the kettle to boil I ran to the laundry and grabbed the washing. I wolfed down my sandwich and hung out the washing in record time. Then I hit my first stumbling block... my cup of tea.

I had been up since 5.45am with the Little Monster, and had been on the go proper since 7am. It was now 12.45pm, and I was starting to lag big time. That’s ok, I thought, I'll take five-minutes to have a lay down, enjoy my cuppa and to have a little rest – it will recharge me before I get stuck into the kitchen.

It was 15-minutes before I could drag my sorry ass off the sofa; I am now nearly two hours behind schedule and I STILL haven’t started anything that I wanted to get done.

I glance at my printed out timetable; I was supposed to be halfway through my wardrobe task and already have the kitchen done.

With a huge sigh I drag the vacuum into the kitchen at get to work, convinced that it will only take me 30-minutes to get some kind of cleanliness happening.

An HOUR later I stumble out of the kitchen and make my way to the WARDROBE OF DOOOOOM with garbage bags in tow. I now have just two hours to get my wardrobe into order. That’s ok, it should only take 90-minutes, I’ll be sweet.

My plan was simple:

1.       throw out the shoes that I no longer wear;

2.       separate all clothes into “chuck”, “charity” and “keep” piles;

3.       turn my coat hangers to see just how many of my clothes I wear;

4.       put together the recently purchased shoe racks, and fill them;

5.       wipe down the mirror;

6.       go get my Boys.

Yeah, nice plan.... but it kinda didn’t work out that way.

I managed to chuck more than a couple of shoes out (which I am very proud about!) but as I sat in a sea of shoes, I decided to put the shoe rack together and put the shoes away. That’s when I discovered that, although I can build and IKEA wardrobe, 10 bits of metal and eight screws make me a DIY idiot.

No joke, it took me THIRTY MINUTES to put the shoe rack together – but I got there.

Before I could even start on the clothes in the wardrobe, I had to tackle my ever growing floor-drobe. I was working quite quickly with the chuck, charity, keep mentality – it was mostly “chuck” or “put in the washing basket” – and was just about to start on the wardrobe proper, when I looked at the time.

HOLY CRAP! It was time to get my Boys! And dinner wasn’t prepped, and I hadn’t finished the wardrobe, and I hadn’t vacuumed the lounge and, and, and.....

I walked away from the wardrobe, put the two bags of crap I had chucked out into the rubbish bin and went to collect the Boys.

By the time the Little Monster went to bed, I had managed to cook dinner, vacuum the lounge, and push everything to the side of my bedroom so I at least had a clear path to bed.

As I ate dinner and savoured my glass of wine, I reflected on my day with Husband. Yes, I hadn’t achieved everything that I had set out to do (that hair dye will just have to wait until the weekend), but I had made a start. And that is so much better than just leaving things

And in all honesty, I am just glad that I had the intention to do something about the clutter... For the first time in a while, I was excited about making a positive change in my home – a change that I know will make me feel better about spending time there.

{images 1 2 and 3}

A blank page can be a daunting thing

I have been slack.

There has been no post since Friday, and for that I offer my apologies, dear followers.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer. I have always thought that I have a novel inside me that just needs a little help to come out.

That was one of my secret reasons to start this blog - so I could write, I could find my voice, I could find my novel, and I could *ahem* be "published".

When I started writing my first post, I had a kazillion ideas floating around my head. So I stuck them in draft. A few I have used, a few were deleted, and a few are waiting for later.

And now here I am, a blank canvas in front of me... and I can find no words. Which is unfortunate. I mean what's the point of having a blog if you have no words!?

This must be what Writer's Block feels like.

Boy does it suck.

{image 1}