A dawing realisation

I've been a bit slack with writing in my Gratitude Book...
I was having so much fun during our Christmas holiday that I kept forgetting to write in it.

Every night since we've come home, I look at the book sitting on my bedside table just waiting for my return.
And every night, I turn off my light without making an entry.

It's not like I don't have anything to be grateful for - if anything, there's too much to even begin to mention.

But this morning as I walked into work after dropping the Little Monster off at daycare, I suddenly realised exactly WHY I should start writing in it again...
I am 28 weeks pregnant, and I need to be writing down everything I feel about this pregnancy; the good and the bad.

At around 9-weeks, staving off yet another wave of nausea (and a week after I realised that being pregnant again meant I was going to have to GIVE BIRTH again - eek!!), I turned to Husband and stated, "This is it. Two is enough; no more children..."
To which Husband agreed.

About 3 weeks ago, I hit the I'm-so-totally-over-being-pregnant phase (only 11 weeks early!) and claimed to Husband, "Ugh. I'm sick of being fat. I want my body back!"

Again, to which Husband agreed.... not to the "I'm fat" part!, but that he wants me to be back to normal, back to being me. Which I'm guessing doesn't involve me being a host to a not so tiny parasite, or inhaling my food without taking a breath, or falling asleep on the sofa at 8pm....

But this morning, I had a far more profound realisation - this will most likely be my last pregnancy.

This realisation made me both sad and determined.

Sad, because this will probably be the last time that I carry and grow a baby.
The last time that I feel the first flutters through to the full on belly stretching of movement.
The last time I will ask my body to put itself through the paces that nature intended.

Determined, because I have not been as appreciative of this pregnancy as I was the first... I have been almost blase about whole thing, really.
And because despite all my whinging, I do love being pregnant.

I love feeling the baby move and guessing what baby body part is poking me where (usually a double whammy of a punch to the bladder and a kick to the lungs).
I love the freedom to go back for seconds without caring what other people think.
I love my maternity jeans!

I love watching my LM kiss my belly, and whisper "Morning Baby".

So, rather than complaining about how I can't walk 20m without huffing and puffing like a steam train; or how badly I am sleeping because the Baby keeps moving; or the agony of waking up with a leg cramp in the middle of the night...

Instead of all of those things, I am going to embrace the remaining 12 weeks of my pregnancy:

• I will cherish each internal kick and punch.
• I will celebrate the fact that my body is so freaking amazing at the job it does of growing our Baby.
• I will write in my Gratitude book every night, of just how lucky and grateful I am that I have a beautiful healthy son, and how excited (and terrified!) I am with the imminent arrival of our new child.

What sudden realisations have you had recently? Were they enough to change your way of thinking?

 {images 1, 2 and 3}

Saying goodbye

Today, Husband's world lost a little ray of sunshine. His wonderful grandmother passed away, at the amazing age of 93.

It was expected, she was very ill, but it is still a very sad loss.

We last saw her on Australia Day, and spent a fantasitc couple of hours talking to her about her life. She told us that in all her years, she had no regrets... and I think that's pretty darn amazing.

Rest in Peace Gran (aka GG), mother of three, grandmother to nine and great-grandmother to seven (very soon to be nine!). You were a wonderful woman and the matriarch of such a beautiful family. You will always live in our hearts, and I know that you will be watching over us all as your family continues to grow.

I've hit the wall...

At first I thought it was 3.30-itis, but then I realised, nah it's just pregnancy.

I am now in the "I can't get comfortable enough to sleep well" phase.
Y'know, the phase that lasts until the baby comes out (when you then move into the "My newborn won't let me sleep" phase. But that's a-whoooole-nother ballgame!)

Thankfully my Father-in-Law is picking up the Little Monster today, I don't think I could actually manage the 25-minute power-walk to daycare to get him... It's going to be hard enough to walk the 250m to the bus stop today!

Anyway, enough of my complaining!!
If my tiredness is the worst thing I have to worry about today, then I am doing alright.

And to look on the very bright side - tomorrow is Friday (YAY!), and I will be spending the weekend down the coast with the in-laws! Fingers crossed for a lovely sunny weekend  :)

{image from here}

How has your day been?

Dear Universe - I want a new home!

We are looking for a new home to accommodate our growing brood (long story, will bore you with it in another blog!)

We thought we had found it - scrap that, we HAD found it, but so had 10 other interested parties and for the first time in my rental life, I didn't get the place I wanted.

Obviously it wasn't meant to be.... though I still dream about the house, and how my life would be in it....

So in order to find our dream home, I am throwing my heart open to the Universe and asking for a little help (hmmmm, and not dissimilar to the letter that conjoured up Mary Poppins... Imagine this letter is being sung to a jaunty showtune!)

Dear Universe

I don't often ask for help, and the few times that I have you have listened and provided.

Husband and I need and want a new home. We don't want our children to be apartment children. We don't want to always be worrying about the noise levels, and how it affects our neighbours.

 Please, please, please help us find our dream home.

It must have:

• 3-bedrooms (although 2 large bedrooms and a sunroom would be equally acceptable)
• A separate living/dining area (although a large combined living space would do just as well)
• A garden for my Little Monster and #2 to safely run crazy in, with a shady tree to have picnics under (must be low maintenance - I need to be eased into the whole "gardening" thing....)
• A shower and a bath (combined is fine with me - I just need a tub I can soak and relax in!)
• A lock up garage (or at the very least off street parking)
• A decent sized kitchen (eat-in is fine especially if the living space is combined.... and I'll go out on a limb here and ask for a dishwasher - hope that's not being too greedy!)
• Be secure, so that Husband won't worry about us when he is at work
• Accept a cat

Most importantly, it must be within our price range and have a landlord who doesn't put the rent up every six months; if s/he can wait til I go back to work before putting the rent up, that would be good... If they didn't put the rent up for a couple of years, that would be awesome!

Thank you for listening Universe. I patiently wait your response...... although I do need to be moved/settled by the end of April!

Well, I've asked. Now to keep looking and hope that the Universe is listening.... Watch this space!


{image from here}

Arghh F**k!

So there I was, 5am, fast asleep; trying to make up for an already distrupted night's sleep... (thanks to Little Monster believing that our bed is actually his)

When BAM!

I awoke in agony, with my leg nearly perpendicular to the bed, toes splayed wildly, and a cramp in the middle of my calf.

Needless to say, I swore like a sailor for the few minutes it took to regain control of the muscle.

Unbelieveably (well, at least to me!), when I was telling Husband about the reasons behind my broken sleep, he had very little sympathy for the cramp incident.

Instead he told me that given that the Little Monster had been in bed with us at the time, my language had been less than desirable, and that I might want to tone things down the next time I woke with a cramp....

Seriously.

Am I going to have to watch my lanuage whilst giving birth?!

I mean I get that there was a child in the room (not by my choice) and he shouldn't be subjected to some of the bluer words spouting from his mother (which by the way, he completely slept through).

But when someone is unceremoniously woken up in unexpected and breathtaking pain, instinct takes over and common sense does not always prevail...

A girlfriend at work suggest that I wake him up in the middle of the night with a swift kick to the bollocks and see if he manages not to swear.

And as I hobble around the office with a bruised calf, I can't even begin to tell you how tempting that it sounds.

Does anyone else have a Husband/Wife/Partner/Significant Other like mine - sometimes the most caring and loving person, and sometimes the most cold and unfeeling bastard?